How Badly Do I Want the Damed Disney Cruise?

OK - so here we are, on the brink of the season of charity, and helping others, and toys for tots, and food drives, and the red bucket with the bell ringer, and the be thankful for all you have, yadda yadda yadda. So what did I spend an hour and a half doing yesterday? Researching a Disney Cruise.

I'm a bit of a Disney nut. Not a go-get-a-part-time-job-at-the-Disney-Store-so-I-can-be-close-to-the-Disney-magic kind of nut. But I love the place. It really IS the happiest place on Earth. Especially if you stay at the Contemporary. And get to sit in the front of the Monorail. And get to see the fireworks 3 nights in a row, all from different and really cool places. But I digress...

Like most Florida kids, we went to Disney once or twice when I was a kid. I remember it was a long drive from Pensacola, and that my sister and I camped out in the back of the ole Station Wagon. I read "Charlotte's Web" on the way down, so I was bawling. We stayed at the Holiday Inn Maingate (which is still there, by the way), and did our 3 days. It was fun. I rememeber riding Dumbo with my Dad. I remember 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, which was the COOLEST ride ever. I remember loving flying over London in the Peter Pan ride. I remember that stuff (I was in 4th grade, I think...)

So it's really cool when you get to go back with your kids, because you really do re-live it all over again through them. Proximity to Disney was a major contributing factor in our decision to move to Tampa. We had our Seasonal Passes for 3 years, and have since taken a year off. (The Contemporary trip this summer was courtesy of Bart's Company, and the Conference he was attending there...)

So I decided 2 days ago that - you know what? OUR KIDS ARE THE PERFECT AGE FOR DISNEY! AND THEY ARE THE PERFECT AGE FOR A DISNEY CRUISE! At 4 and 7, they still believe in all the magic. They still love the characters. If we don't take them soon, Karlin will have slipped out of that "magic window" - once she's 9 or so, fuggedaboutit. So I decided that we NEED to do this, and create a special memory for our kids. We need to do this more than we need new bedroom furniture. We definitely need to do this more than I need a new purse. I decided - we are going to do this, before Karlin gets too old.

So I get on-line, and BAM! Reality hits. 3 Nights in the Bahamas on a Disney Cruise in a bottom-of-the-barrel, no windows cabin? Approximately $2,500, give or take $800 depending on when you go. So I'm thinking..."OK - I Substitute Teach 4 hours each day, at $8.50 an hour, so how many days of subbing would get us to Disney?" You see where I'm going here. It. Is. Freaking. Expensive. You can take a longer cruise on any other Cruise line for half as much. But then it wouldn't be Disney, now would it?

I know a few people who have been on Disney cruises, and they all say - without hesitation - that it is worth every penny. The level of customer service - as it is with Disney on Land - is supurb. The specialized attention the kids get is supposed to be second to none. It is just supposed to be The Bomb.

So now I am obsessed with the Disney Cruise. Which is really, really, really selfish this time of year. Do I get a little slack becuase I want it for my kids? Probably not - they are pretty overindulged as it is. However, you can't underestimate the value of a great vacation experience. When we went to the Grand Canyon last year, it was special. We all loved it, and all had a great time. The kids were old enough to remember it, and my 486 pictures can always serve as reminders. It was just one of those unbelieveable experiences that I will cherish forever. I know we had a few rough times - cranky kids, expensive but crappy meals, etc., but I don't really remember those too much. What I remember is Karlin blazing down the trails along the North Rim. Or Chase yelling into the Canyon to hear his echo. Chase high-fiving the "train robber" who boarded our train while en route to the South Rim. (the robber busted out laughing, becuase he was putting his hand out for tips...) Karlin diligently filling out her workbook and listening to the Ranger Program so she could be an Official Junior Ranger. The beautiful - and HUGE - deer that walked right up to me outside our cabin. The Coyote we saw. Drinking coffee while the sun was rising over the Canyon. Getting Icees after visiting the Volcano National Monument outside of Flagstaff. My point is, we had a great time. I want to do something amazing and special again.

So I'm going to start working on my Disney Cruise Account. I'm still buying for Toys For Tots. I'm still donating canned goods. But I'm also keeping in mind that my kids are growing up really, really, REALLY fast. Some things don't last forever, and you have to take advantage of things while you can. I can buy a purse when Karlin is in High School and hates me anyway. New bedroom furniture can come later, when Chase doesn't like to have his picture taken with Goofy anymore.

To quote a line from a great flick: "Up there, it's THEIR time. It's their time up there. But down here, it's OUR time. It's OUR time down here." I gotta get my kids on that boat while there's still time...

The Thing About Me

The thing about me is - I'm a pessimist. Big time. My glass is always half empty (usually because I drank it.) I am always going to have trouble finding a place to park. Christmas is always going to be a big hassle. Friends are always going to move away, and family is always going to be problematic. I will never lose weight. About 50% of the time I'm in a bad mood. Or tired. Or both. Maybe more than 50%.

Why am I like this? I dunno. My sister would tell you it's because I'm like my Mom. (although I contend I'm not nearly as bad as she is - my Mom.) I think it's maybe because of some rough times when I was a teen. Or maybe because sometimes I just can't believe that things are going so well, so something bad is bound to happen. Or maybe because I have low self-esteem. In any case, it's the way I am.

I have two friends who are so positive and so cheerful and so upbeat. They see the best side of everything. They can always put a good spin on things. I wish I could be more like that, but I'm not.

About the only time I am really 100% relaxed and positive is when I am in my pool, preferably with a beer or margarita - soaking up the sun and looking at the palm trees, OR when I'm at the beach. I dream that maybe a new shiny Louie Vuitton will change my outlook in life, but that's just shallow. (But still...a girl can dream)

The point is - I'm a pessimist.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!

Well, technically the actual 1st Birthday was last week, but it's just a Blog, so I doubt it's feelings will be hurt.

I went back and looked at some of the past blog entries. Some of them are pretty damned funny. Some of them are completely useless.It has had some value, though, in allowing me to express my thoughts. This is especially important in a world where some days I don't get to have a conversation with another grown-up. I was a little dismayed to discover that most of my best entries were awhile back. I guess I've been all out of witty in recent months.

I'm hoping to change the look of the blog soon, because I am tired of it. 2009 Promises to be the year of change. Hold on tight and let's see where we end up! :)

People I Sort of Wanted to Smack Today

(Title and theme 100% plagiarized from Amy's blog, but it's SUCH a great idea!)

People I sort of wanted to smack today:

My husband, who left to go to a Gator game and took MY CAMERA with him, leaving me to take those once-a-year-they'll-never-be-this-age-again pumpkin patch photos with my old Olympus that is - literally - held together with scotch tape.

My son, who lay screaming and flailing on the carpeted floor of the roller skating rink because he changed his mind and didn't want to do the lesson I had just paid for.

The stupid little girl in roller skates who not only ran Karlin over once, but also ran over my foot with her skates. And never apologized.

The stupid little boy at the Fall Festival who was beating everyone in the pony ride line with his balloon sword. Actually - change that. I really wanted to smack his MOTHER instead, for doing nothing to stop him.

My son, for laying on the sidewalk screaming and flailing because I removed him from the playground for throwing sand.

People I really didn't want to smack at all today:

Amy, who sent me an email that 1) stated exactly what I was thinking, and 2) made me laugh.

The skating instructor, who realized that Chase was having a "thing", and wisely decided to give him - and me - a little room and a little time.

The driver of the train at the Fall Festival, who let my kids ride twice.

My husband, for coming home with wings and cheese fries.

My husband, for putting in the fabulous pool and hot tub that I so enjoyed swimming in with my family for 2 hours tonight.

The people who organized the Jamaican Jam fest 1/2 mile from my house, providing me with glorious free live reggae music all evening. Great acoustics from the pool...

Go Rays. Go Gators. Stupid people suck.

Funny Things

Funny phrase heard this weekend: when my son - who had been happily trick-or-treating at Sea World's Spooktacular this weekend - encountered the trick-or-treat booth sponsored by Chiquita, he looked at what the guy was giving him and said - with much disgust - "Hey - Those are BANANAS!" (the boy knows his candy - he is my son , after all...)

Does anyone know where I can get one of those industrial toilet paper dispensers? You know the kind they put in schools so that the kids can only take 2 sheets at a time? I really need one of those in the kid's bathroom. Bless their hearts for wanting to be so clean, but we are currently plowing through 9 double rolls a week. And they clog the toilet with that paper about 50% of the time.

And why we're looking for those toilet paper dispensers, where can I get one of the Jedi paper towel things? You know the ones - they put them in restaurants, and you wave your hand in front of them like a Jedi and like magic, a paper towel appears. I don't need one for the kids. I just think they're cool, and I like pretending I can use The Force to get my paper towels.

I am living proof that real Coke and powdered doughnut holes really can make you feel better.

I watched a new TV show today called "Real Simple" (after the magazine.) I was thrilled that they featured a woman whose house was in worse disarray than mine.

Here's what I heard on a talk radio show this morning. Some caller had called up and complained about how "all the black people vote together." The talk show host - who is white - and his producer had the following exchange (heavily sarcastic, in case that doesn't translate via text):

Dan York (host): Well you know, the black people all get the black people newsletter. They all read it and all keep up with what's going on. No white people have ever seen it.
Producer: I had a friend who saw the newsletter once.
Dan York: And no one's ever seen him since, right?
Producer: No.
Dan York: Yea- that's what they use Guantanamo for.

I actually laughed coffee onto my steering wheel. Then another caller wanted to know when Colin Powell's "street cred" became real with the black people, since even black people say he's not really black. Some people are really idiots.

"You Should Live Here"

So - anyone who knows me knows I am addicted to HGTV. I really should have a much nicer house considering all the makeover and design shows I watch. Let's just say putting it into practice is, well, a bit of a challenge. Especially when I could be swimming in the pool or playing Lego Star Wars on the PS3.

This afternoon I saw a new special on HGTV called "You Should Live Here." Basically they used a variety of sources and surveys to determine things like "The Best Place To Raise A Family", "The Best Place For Food", "The Best Place To Live Longer", etc. Then at the end, they listed the viewer's top 3 choices for best places to live.

I want to say that I think this show is total CRAP. First off, every single one of the places they listed had average home prices of over $250,000. I mean seriously...you're young and wanting to start a family. How about moving to Portland where the median home price 45 minutes outside the city is a half mill? Or what about the "City With the Most Beautiful People" - San Diego? I've been to San Diego, and I distinctly recall seeing more homeless people there than anyplace else I've ever been. Guess that great weather attracts less-beautiful people too. Want to live longer? Move to Denver, where all the fresh mountain air, pure water, and outdoor activities make for a longer life. Ummm...did they forget about the, oh, I don't know, 400 INCHES OF FREEZING ASS SNOW THAT FALLS EVERY YEAR?!?

Florida did not even get mentioned. For the waterfront lifestyle, they listed San Diego (which - by the way, the downtown is a bit from the actual ocean, and the water is C-O-L-D), and Honolulu (who the hell can afford to move THERE?)

The Viewer's Top 3? #3 - San Diego. San Diego is nice - beautiful weather, good zoo, etc. But there's the whole homelessness thing, the illegal immigrants running around everywhere, the Earthquakes, and let's not forget the wildfires. The beach is less-than-attractive - all rocky, and the water is cold. Great place to visit, but I would not want to live there.

#2 - Denver. I have only passed through Denver, but I hear that it is over-run with liberal socialists. The skiing is great, but I just couldn't stomach living in the snow and cold 6+ months of the year.

#1 - New York. Now, not to offend all you New Yorkers out there (I know of 3 who definitely read this blog...), but let's just wait a damned minute. The TV show said New York is #1 because "it has it all." I've never been there (except to JFK), and I would definitely like to visit someday. But I would rather have 3 root canals than move to New York City. It does NOT have it all. No decent beaches (not without a fair drive, and I'm not even sure those beaches qualify as decent). COLD weather and snow in the winter, and HOT weather in the summer. And it's too damned big - too many people, too hard to get around.

I may be biased, but why didn't any place in Florida make the list? We live where millions of people each year come to VACATION. Tampa - in my opinion - is the best. It really does have it all. We are less than 20 minutes from the best beaches in America. (Two of the local beaches won the title so many times they had to "retire" them from the list...) The weather here is fabulous. Granted it is hot in the summer, but no hotter than anywhere else in the Southeast. We get 6-8 months every year of what can only be described as gloriousness. Sunny skies, cool breezes, and mild temps. And by mild I mean you-can-still-wear-flip-flops-all-winter mild. Tampa is a medium-sized city, offering most of the amenities of a big city (minus the public transportation - that's one area where Tampa is sorely lacking.) We have Broadway shows here, ballet, symphony, and art. We have a world-class Zoo, and one of the more famous theme parks. We have all the "good" professional sports - The 2004 Stanley Cup winners the Lightning, the 2003 Superbowl Champion Buccaneers, and - if you read the paper at all - it looks like our Rays may, just may, be heading to the World Series. We have loads of parks and recreational trails. Disney - the vacation mecca of all families around the world - is 1 hour away. Almost every single day I wake up, look out at the blue skies and palm trees swaying in the wind and think "well-another beautiful Tampa day." We even seem to be mostly immune from the whole hurricane thing. Tampa has not had a direct hit in 120 years. We have an international airport, making equally easy to fly to Austin or Vegas or Cancun or Dublin. The food here is pretty damned good too - have you ever tasted a real Cuban Sandwich? The downtown is clean and safe, the suburbs have great schools, and you can be swimming with wild manatees in less than an hour. Want to go to the keys? Drivable. Historic St. Augustine? Ditto. I live almost exactly between downtown Tampa and the beaches. I can drive 4 miles away and be in middle of rural horse county. I can drive 4 miles and be looking at a gorgeous expanse of Tampa Bay.

I don't want to live where it's cold. I can hop a Southwest plane and be in Denver in 2 1/2 hours. Ski my little heart out, and then put my flip flops back on in the plane on the way home. I don't want to live in a city of bazillions of people, where the buildings are so tall you almost can't see the sky. I don't want to live near a beach that is only moderately attractive, with water that's too cold to swim in.

I want to live where it's warm and sunny. Where I can take a picture of the beach and send it to you, and you would not be able to tell if it was Clearwater Beach, Nassau, Jamaica, or Tahiti. I want to wear flip flops all year 'round. I want to be able to swim in my pool on Christmas Day. I want to be able to see Mickey Mouse whenever I want. I want to be able to be outside almost every single day. I want to be able to stand in my back yard and see the Space Shuttle taking off. I want to be able to see (and hear) Sandhill cranes and wild Parrots flying over my yard, and Ibis and Spoonbill feeding in my front yard.

I want to live in paradise, and it's here. Tampa. The only thing that could make it better is if I lived on the water at the beach. And if I had a maid. But maybe that will come later...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

When Pumpkins Drink....