Friday, September 15, 2017

Post-Hurricane Update: Out-of-the-Woods-Into-the-Frying-Pan Edition...

Post-Hurricane Update: Out-of-the-Woods-Into-the-Frying-Pan Edition...
So we've spent two days moving furniture back, un-taping window sills, and putting our daughter's loft bed back together. Lots of little debris and some fence boards down too.
But we made it through the woods! We're in the clear! Except...our AC just went out. Yes - that sizzling sound you hear is us baking.
"24 hour emergency service! No extra charge!" Except that the next tech isn't available until tomorrow at Noon. That sizzling sound you hear now is my temper fuming.
We've all been in very close quarters for 5 days, and I'm not gonna lie...THESE CHILDREN NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I don't care if you shove them in the gym to watch movies, as long as they are separated from their siblings. Chase has played so many video games and watched so many movies that he literally lost track of a whole day.
Word is they aren't going back until Monday. That will be TWELVE DAYS HOME IN A ROW. If schools are 't open, the bars and wine shops better be, and fast. When does Busch Gardens open? Can we just drop them all off there? I'll pay extra if they will just open that park.
Continuing my my Irma-induced quest to decipher Jude Law (is he good? Is he evil?), I watched "Road to Perdition" last night. Terribly depressing movie, and did NOT clear up my Jude Law issues.
I finally got to watch NFL football last night. I think something is wrong with me, as I found myself screaming "Don't run the clock Minnesota! How in the he'll am I supposed to get points if you run the clock?!?"#FantasyFootballProblems
I suppose it could be worse. My friends were supposed to go to Bern's tonight for their 25th anniversary, but Bern's isn't back open yet. Our high school band director is stuck in traffic somewhere between here and Georgia. And although the AC is on the fritz, we DO HAVE POWER, so the wine fridge is okay.
Stay cool, ya'll!

Hurricane Update #4 - Wine, More Wine, Zombie Movies, and Fake News Edition:

Hurricane Update #4 - Wine, More Wine, Zombie Movies, and Fake News Edition:
Well. Here we are at Midnight and I have to say...watching "Shaun of the Dead" really puts the whole hurricane thing in perspective. I mean - we have it bad, but do we have it your-mom's-been-bitten-by-Zombies bad?
We had our first real hurricane impact in the form of a leaking French Door. Minor stuff - nothing that duct tape and a few towels can't fix.
Here's something of interest...we've had not one but two people reach out to us about the current conditions. When we say "It's stormy, but manageable" the people - both out of area - say something along the lines of "No - you're getting pummeled. I just saw it on TV.
Rest assured that - as of right now - we are snuggled up in the family room, with power and AC, sipping chilled wine and watching Shawn of the Dead. Yes - the tales of our demise may be greatly exaggerated for the sake of ratings. National television coverage of Hurricane Irma cannot be trusted.
For those of you that have asked...the loft bed window shield is holding up beautifully; we put the rugs away to just make it easier for George the Weimaraner; and we ate all of Aunt Karin's fabulous stew.
We're holding down the fort with chips, twizzlers, and fudge sticks, and a copious amount of wine.
Stay safe ya'll!

Hurricane Update #3: Sarcasm-More Wine-Weimaraner Edition...

Hurricane Update #3: Sarcasm-More Wine-Weimaraner Edition...
I'm pretty sure the dude with the walker in the beginning of "Office Space" moved faster than this storm. We've been sitting around all day waiting. The conditions here in Tampa have been - so far - less than what we get in your average Thunderstorm. We are very relieved but also bored. We're watching "Pitch Perfect."
You know where the "more wine" comes in. You're probably asking where the Weimaraner comes in. That would be George, my Weimaraner-puppy-nephew. George has declared an outright war on my rugs. I guess they say people (and dogs?) handle stress in different ways, but I'm not sure what trauma my rugs have inflicted on poor George. It's worth pointing out that George is an equal-opportunity rug hater. He hates my small kitchen rugs and my 5x7 area rug equally.
So - Hurricane Problems That You Never Thought Of #1...
Garbage cans. In your garage. I'm betting you have NO IDEA how bad your garbage cans smell until you move them inside the garage. Ours smell like a combination of dead fish, stale beer, and dog crap. We may have to sell our cars. Seriously. SO. BAD.
I'm a little bummed that Karlin's loft bed got ousted by the now widely-publicized Ping Pong Table, but hey - life lessons. I guess we need to step up our game next time. (See what I did there? Ha ha ha)
In the meantime, Aunt Karin brought a bunch more junk food, and made us a big crock pot of Beef Stew. We still have 9 bottles of wine, about 8 bags of chips, Goat cheese, salsa, cookies, twizzlers, Swedish fish, ice cream, and Pop Tarts. We're gooooooood...
I need to go hide the rugs....stay safe ya'll!

Hurricane Update #2: Sarcasm-and-Bailey's Edition...

Hurricane Update #2: Sarcasm-and-Bailey's Edition...
After staying up till 2 am watching worsening weather reports, I looked forward to the air-conditioned, oblivious sleep of sleeping late on a Sunday morning. But alas - it was not meant to be. I had 52 text messages before 7:35 am. Lord only knows what it will be like once we lose TV and have nothing else to do.
So we got up and started doing what most people do to prepare for a hurricane...Bart went to the gym, and I'm cleaning house. Because if the house comes crashing down, at least our toilets will be clean. A girl's got to have some standards, even in a storm, and clean toilets are my baseline.
It's raining a little here now, but that's about it. I'm going to dose up another cup of coffee and start bitching that I can't watch my fantasy players because of the 237 channels of Irma coverage.
(And yes - if you just said "Wait...what?" - you read that correctly. Bart is at the gym. Which is apparently open. In a hurricane.)
Stay safe ya'll!

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Hurricane Irma Update, Sarcasm-and-Wine Edition

Hurricane update, sarcasm-and-wine edition:

We're pretty much screwed. Cat 4 headed straight for us.  We decided today to semi-board up the biggest upstairs window, but since plywood has been a rarity in Tampa since Tuesday, we boarded it up with parts of our daughter's loft bed. Not. Kidding. My kid's bed is now screwed to the outside of my house.

We broke the grill trying to move it into the garage. We ordered some critical supplies over a week ago, but Amazon & UPS failed us.  (If I find the UPS driver that has my combo solar-charging weather radio/flashlight/cell phone charger I'm going to kick his ass.)

After managing all the preparations we could this morning, we decided to get in the pool. We may be the first sunburned pre-hurricane victims in history.

The kids are great. Karlin's pretty pissed about her loft bed, but really - teenage drama.  Like she can't sleep normally with her mattress on the floor.  I took her to 7-11 for junk food to console her.  Apparently one loft bed is worth 2 bags of Swedish Fish and a Slurpee.  Who knew?

 Chase is SO EXCITED because there's a "hurricane event" in one of his video games.  Dude - I have got your "virtual reality" riiiiggght over here..."

We have plenty of food, water, and ice - so that's good. And wine, because apparently red wine is a great anecdote to panic attacks.

I'll be back tomorrow, probably not nearly as funny until I get the Baileys in my coffee. Until then, BE SAFE YA'LL!

#IrmaSucks #Irmageddon #HurricaneIrma

Wednesday, October 26, 2016


Some people behave badly but are basically good people deep down.  They may lack a filter, or lack awareness of how what they say & do impacts other people. but at the base they are good, honest, decent people.

Some people behave badly because - at their core - they lack character.  They may or may not be aware of how what they say or do affects other people, but in the end they really don't care.  Their biggest concern is themselves and how situations impact them - their egos, their comfort, their position.  They are selfish in almost everything that they do. These people exist in my life every day, from a Major Presidential candidate to volunteers at my kid's schools.  They probably exist in MOST of our lives every day.

There is no excuse - none - for a lack of manners, common courtesy, and respect for others.  Grown adults should know better, and more of us should draw a line in the sand and stop putting up with it.  I read a meme yesterday that said "What you allow is what will continue."  SO TRUE.

Our world lacks so much right now, but just imagine if people started being DECENT?  What if people thought about others before themselves?  What if they volunteered because they care, and not for the glory and recognition that comes with it?

I am getting too old to waste my time on bad people.  I'm not going to put up with it anymore, and neither should you.


Monday, August 22, 2016

I'm So Over Grown-Up Bullies

Bullying happens when you're younger, both on a smaller scale (such as teasing) and a larger scale (such as stealing lunch money or beating someone up.)  One thing you pretty much count on, though, is that once you're all grown up that stuff won't happen anymore.  Kids bully because they lack self esteem, lack discipline, lack a solid family environment, or any other number of reasons.  In some cases, kids behave badly because they just haven't learned that the behaviors aren't appropriate. 

As a grown adult, I assume that people are past being influenced by their childhood, and that they have learned which behaviors are appropriate and which are not.  Things like "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"; "always use your manners"; "don't hurt people's feelings"; "respect others, especially your elders"; and "you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" were all a part of my day-to-day upbringing.  As an adult who graduated college, has held jobs, is involved with a variety of community, professional, and social organizations, and who now owns a business, I still use those lessons in my every day life. 

So I am thoroughly and completely shocked at how many adults I deal with that are basically "bullies". They are rude, selfish, disrespectful, and generally damage the mojo of the groups they are associated with.  People tiptoe around them because it's just easier than getting them all fired up.  Sometimes they are in positions that we don't have anyone else to fill, so we dance around them for that reason.  It's a little ridiculous if you think about it.

So - it's not's August, so this is not a New Year's Resolution. A few things have occurred in the past few weeks with a few of these "grown-up bullies" that put me over the edge.  So, from now on I resolve NOT to put up with their crap anymore.  No one is irreplaceable in a position.  And I don't care who you are, nothing gives you the right to talk down to someone, belittle them, insult them, or be rude and disrespectful to them.  I'm sorry if your parents didn't raise you right, but you're an adult now, and you are fully capable of Googling "MANNERS."  

Until someone steps up to these grown up bullies then they have no reason and no motivation to change their behaviors.  I can't control these people, but I CAN control how I respond to them, and how much power I let them have.  I am in the driver's seat, and it's time for the grown-up bullies to get OFF MY BUS.