Funny Things

Funny phrase heard this weekend: when my son - who had been happily trick-or-treating at Sea World's Spooktacular this weekend - encountered the trick-or-treat booth sponsored by Chiquita, he looked at what the guy was giving him and said - with much disgust - "Hey - Those are BANANAS!" (the boy knows his candy - he is my son , after all...)

Does anyone know where I can get one of those industrial toilet paper dispensers? You know the kind they put in schools so that the kids can only take 2 sheets at a time? I really need one of those in the kid's bathroom. Bless their hearts for wanting to be so clean, but we are currently plowing through 9 double rolls a week. And they clog the toilet with that paper about 50% of the time.

And why we're looking for those toilet paper dispensers, where can I get one of the Jedi paper towel things? You know the ones - they put them in restaurants, and you wave your hand in front of them like a Jedi and like magic, a paper towel appears. I don't need one for the kids. I just think they're cool, and I like pretending I can use The Force to get my paper towels.

I am living proof that real Coke and powdered doughnut holes really can make you feel better.

I watched a new TV show today called "Real Simple" (after the magazine.) I was thrilled that they featured a woman whose house was in worse disarray than mine.

Here's what I heard on a talk radio show this morning. Some caller had called up and complained about how "all the black people vote together." The talk show host - who is white - and his producer had the following exchange (heavily sarcastic, in case that doesn't translate via text):

Dan York (host): Well you know, the black people all get the black people newsletter. They all read it and all keep up with what's going on. No white people have ever seen it.
Producer: I had a friend who saw the newsletter once.
Dan York: And no one's ever seen him since, right?
Producer: No.
Dan York: Yea- that's what they use Guantanamo for.

I actually laughed coffee onto my steering wheel. Then another caller wanted to know when Colin Powell's "street cred" became real with the black people, since even black people say he's not really black. Some people are really idiots.