Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Appliances With Pliers

As of Sunday evening, I had multiple appliance problems. The thermostat blinks and freaks out every time you try to adjust the temperature (although I'm not 100% convinced that Bart didn't rig that up somehow to keep me from turning the AC down.) The microwave is making some really weird rattling/buzzing sounds. The dryer knob broke off (that would be set o' pliers #1). And Bart broke the kitchen sink faucet. Again. (That would be set o' pliers #2.) I don't exactly know when he broke the faucet, but it wasn't fixed by the time I returned from 24 hours of Girl Scout Camping. I was dirty. I was exhausted. And I was pissed about the kitchen sink.

So - in an effort to spur my loving husband into action next time, I proceeded to drive to Lowe's Monday morning and buy not only a brand new faucet, but a new sink too. $273 of new stainless steel sink and faucet, to be exact. So there. In all fairness, we really did need a new sink too. Lord only knows what the people who lived here before us did to it. The enamel on the sink was rubbing off when we got here, and that was 4 1/2 years ago. So you can imagine how bad it looks now. Plus, in my endless hours of studying HGTV shows, I noticed that a new kitchen trend is the "single-basin sink." This is a big-ole bad boy sink, with no middle partition. I have wanted one for awhile. I mean, the 2-basin sink was designed to wash dishes on one side, and then rinse on the other. No one does that anymore. You either rinse on either side, and then put in the dishwasher, or you throw the paper plates in the garbage, and use the faucet to add water to your scotch.

I love my sink. I've seriously considered calling it "my precious." It's shiny and beautiful and mine all mine.

I obviously have gone completely bat shit.

When did my life get so very sad and pathetic that a NEW KITCHEN SINK would be the highlight of my year so far? And I have been known to drool over those huge LG washing machines and dryers - the ones that do an entire load of clothes in 36 minutes? And then there the oven that can boil water in 18 seconds. Whoa.

I try to maintain some level of hip. Facebook says I'm a "Pretty Hip Mom." (I didn't publish that on Facebook, of course, as we all know that using the word "hip" is a clear indicator that you are not hip at all...) I have read all 4 Twilight Saga books. (Team Edward!) I am going to see Jimmy Buffett next month. I'm hoping to go see No Doubt and Paramore in June. I know more than half the words to Lady GaGa's "Pokerface." (A song I initially hated, but it has now taken root in my head and won't go away.) I can name about half of the characters from the new Battlestar Galactica. (New as in newer than the old one, since the new one has been on for 4 seasons, and just ended.) I have an Ipod. I text message frequently. I still go out - without kids - with my friends and/or husband at least once a month. Usually more. When I'm alone on my car, I still crank up the tunes. Which probably looks ridiculous - me driving around in my family truckster blaring American Idiot or Decode.

But then there's the simple hard truth of the whole age thing. I can't seem to get around it. I freaked out when I heard Flo Rida's re-make of the old Dead or Alive song "You Spin Me Right Round." Have you heard it? It's talking about BJs, for Christ sakes! Right on the radio in the middle of the day!!! I suppose many of the kids don't even realize what they are talking about. I didn't know what the Cyndi Lauper song "Shebop" was about until I was in my 20's. I refuse to dress my daughter in the slutty clothing they put out there for 7 year olds these days. Thank God for school uniforms. Lately, I seem to want to spend time in restaurants and bars where I can actually hear another person speaking to me. I am so old.

Remember how sad it was at the end of St. Elmo's Fire, when they all decided to skip the bar because they had to work/job hunt the next day? And decided to go to brunch that weekend instead. That's me now. Except that the kids in St. Elmo's Fire were only like 24 when they decided that. (Proof of fiction in films. I was passed out at Seville Square or Flounders when I was 24...)

The only thing that makes me feel better? That end-of-St.Elmo's-Fire person? That's you too! That makes me feel better. That - and my beautiful new sink. My precious.

2 comments:

amy said...

a) did I have the conversation with you about how St. Elmo's Fire made me sad because I used to watch it and they were all so grown up and now they're KIDS? Even at the end - although to give us credit I think we passed out at Flounders or Seville a few times in our 30s.

b) I covet your sink. I also covet those big LG washers and driers. Sometimes I pass them in Lowes and stroke them lovingly. I have the world's dumbest sink in this house - an uneven split-basin with the narrow side too narrow to even hold a bowl, except the garbage disposal is in that side so you have to somehow hold plates above the sink and hit them with the water or hose attachment but in a way that the water doesn't splatter all over the counter but so it washes the stuff into the drain.

Crap, I just wrote a blog on your blog comments again.

amy said...

Oh, but I didn't write enough.

c) and I hate on Kelly Ripa every time I watch her boil water in 20 seconds in that commercial because you know she doesn't have to boil her own water and SHE doesn't need that stove, I do.

d) and I'm just now moving into Season 4 of BSG. I have the finale Tivoed for when it's time.