Wow. What A Crappy Week.

OK, so the week started out with a Mom Drama that I won't even go into. Let's just say my Mom is creating unnecessary drama about something that no one (but her) remembers. When I didn't jump through the hoops like a good little doggy, she wielded my dead father like a weapon and insulted the hell out of me. Needless to say, we are no longer on speaking terms. Which sucks, because Chase's birthday is in a little over 3 weeks. How exactly am I supposed to explain that Granny is a nutcase, and that proving her point comes first with her?

And when you have a relative that is generally destructive in her relationships, how do you explain that to your kids? How do you shield them from it? I wish so much that my Mom would realize that the kids come first, but she just doesn't get it. She would rather lose her only grand kids than let whatever it is she's so upset at slide. How do I explain that to the kids?

Then, the next in the crapfest. I am doing the Iron Distance Challenge for the 3rd year in a row. (You have 31 days - January - to bike 112 miles, run/walk 26.2 miles, and swim 2.4 miles.) So I'm working out like a fiend, and doing weight watchers too. Guess how much weight I lost this week? .2 pounds. No - not "two" pounds..."two-tenths" of a pound. That's about a dixie cup of water, right? How is that possible? How is it that you do everything right (and then some), but don't get any progress? And it's not like it was just a bad week. I've only lost 2.6 pounds THE WHOLE ENTIRE MONTH. Ironically, the week of my biggest loss (1.6 pounds), I went and pigged out on Outback. Cheese fries, beer, steak - you get the idea. It's really, really, really discouraging. Even that book by Jen Lancaster -"Such A Pretty Fat" - doesn't get it. It's so much easier to suffer - through the dieting, through the workouts, whatever - if you get results. But what about when you get nothing? And everyone else at the stupid meeting is losing like 3,4,5 pounds a week? This is why I was sitting in the Weight Watcher parking lot, crying and eating my free sample of "Whole Grain Crispies". (Which, by the way, taste exactly like lightly salted dirt.)

So you thought CrapFest 2009 was over? No way! Then comes the Horseback Riding. Karlin loves horses. No - Karlin LOVES horses. Always has. She had been doing some very lightweight, introductory riding with Ms. Sue for about 2 1/2 years. Then Ms. Sue let me know that Karlin had learned about all she could learn from her - it was time for proper riding lessons. OK. So we checked it out, and found a great place (Ms. Sue recommended it), and signed her up. $40 a lesson. Bart balked. I justified it by saying that we've tried everything, and this is the only thing she really loves. Gymnastics? She hated it (but loved to wear the leotards.) Dance? Hated that too. Soccer? Ditto. (Although it was always cute to see her daydreaming in the middle of a field full of frenzied 5 and 6 year olds...) So OK - Bart said yes, and we were off to the races (excuse the horse pun...) We bought her her first "real" riding helmet for her birthday. Then she needed boots (which I practically stole off of Ebay brand new.) Then she needed riding pants (Consignment) and gloves (Consignment.) So far so good. She's been riding for 5 months and is doing great. Each lesson lasts for about an hour and a half. She spends about 20 minutes helping to groom and tack the horse. Then she gets a 40 minute lesson. Then she spends another 20 minutes or so untacking and grooming and watering the horse. She's been loving it, although I do think it's been more physical exertion than she was betting on.

So a few weeks back I find out that there's going to be a Horse Show at the Barn where she takes her lessons. Her instructor said that she's ready for one of the beginner classes - "Lead Line Walk/Trot." OK - cool. Karlin wants to do it. Great. Then I find out that there's a specific uniform requirement for shows. You can't wear riding pants - they have to be Jodphurs. With straps that go under the boot. And she has to have a white shirt, but it can't be a regular white shirt. It is a tailored long-sleeved white shirt with tailored, fitted arms. Then she has to have a vest - black with colors on the front. And then a tie (usually to match the vest.) Most people buy helmet covers too, to coordinate with the vest. Their hair has to be in a bun, secured by a barrette (usually a barrette that coordinates with the vest.) The hair is held under the helmet with hair nets. Oh - and they're supposed to wear make-up too. Now, anyone who knows Bart could probably hear the tires screeching at the words "make-up." But that is the least of our problems. The "standard" riding outfit runs about $325, with custom riding suits (3 shirts, 3 pants, 2 vests, 1 jacket, etc.) around $2,000. Yep - that's TWO GRAND. So while I am nodding politely and trying not to hyperventilate, she starts telling me the cost of the show. I had seen the flier, and it said clearly "$20 per class." I can handle $20. But then she pointed out that the $20 fee was for riders with their own horses. If you used one of the barn's horses, it was $250. Karlin's class is a small one, and she would - literally - be on the horse for about 10 minutes. And then you have to tip the Grooms too. If she were to compete in two classes (which she's not ready for yet), then it's only $275. So I get home, Bart is in the kitchen, and I go straight to the fridge for a beer. I drink most of it before I say "You are going to kill me."

The thing is...I kind of got Karlin into all this. I mean, I knew it was expensive, but I didn't think it was THIS expensive. Bart and I are pretty comfortable - we live in a pretty nice house and have a pool and drive OK cars and take decent vacations. But we're a one income family. Who ARE these people who can afford to spend upwards of $500 a pop for their 7 year olds to sit on a horse for 10 minutes? Not us, that's for damned sure.

So we decided that Karlin needs to sit this one out. She's never actually even seen a show (none of us has)...she just wants to do the show because her instructor says she should do the show. We really want to support her in what she loves, but we want her to first gather enough information to know what she loves. I mean, she's 7 years old. We want her to watch one first, and train awhile longer. That gives us time to do a little research, to get the outfit together, and maybe have her compete in more than one class. It made sense to us, and after we conferred with Ms. Sue, she agreed. (She even offered to loan us a horse down the road, to help with the costs. Ms. Sue is the best.)

Of course, when Bart told Karlin she wasn't going to be in the show, she freakin' LOST IT. She's so disappointed and so upset. I know that we are making the right choice for now, but still. I got her into all this, and now I can't deliver. And she's held up all of her ends of the bargain too - making perfect grades, excelling at her piano lessons, doing great in Girl Scouts. So now I feel even worse.

So basically, this Fat Lady is in a big fight with her mother, and is simultaneously breaking her own daughter's heart.

Shit. What a Crappy Week.