Sunday, January 11, 2009

Yet More Examples of Why Today's World Considers Me an Inferior Parent

This whole blog stems from 1 question:

Where do you store 300 empty cereal boxes?

OK, so you are probably thinking "What in the hell is she talking about? Why would anyone need or want to store that many cereal boxes, especially empty ones?" Let me explain...

For those of you who still have lives of your own (meaning kidless folks), there is this magazine called "Family Fun." Sounds innocent enough. Families! Having Fun! Woo Hoo! The name is a bit misleading. Although there are lots of good things in the magazine (family travel destinations and hints, organization ideas, etc...) it's mostly crafts and stuff. I want you to think Martha Stewart for mommies. Stuff that a) looks great on paper, b) seems easy enough to do, and c) will give your family some FUN!

Admittedly, I have pulled off some of the projects successfully. But a lot of it is 100% unrealistic in the real world. If I had a Nanny to watch my kids and was being paid a salary to come up with and complete these activities, maybe. Chase with paper mache? I don't think so. I'd probably be cutting it out of his hair, the dog's hair, and the cat's hair for weeks. Exactly where do you put 45 empty egg crates? Or 150 toilet paper roles?

Or 300 empty cereal boxes?

Project in question was sent in by a reader (I hate these chicks) who had the time and sanity to come up with this amazing project. You see, her daughter started saving cereal boxes for recycling. Noble enough. But then they thought maybe they could do something else with them. So they kept saving them and kept saving them and kept saving them. Until one day, they had enough to BUILD A CASTLE PLAYHOUSE OUT OF EMPTY CEREAL BOXES! And this was a big playhouse too - the kids was no toddler. She was probably 8 or 9, and it was plenty big enough for her.

I barely have room in my pantry for the 3 cereal boxes that we're eating from, let alone space for a bazillion empty boxes. And good grief - isn't that why God created Toys-R-Us? Or playgrounds? Making a playhouse out of an appliance box - sure! Been there and done that. But my family goes through about 4 boxes of cereal a month - let's round it up to 5 for easier math. At that rate, it would take us 60 month - or 5 years - to get 300 cereal boxes. If you borrowed from friends and could round up 25 boxes per month, it would only take you a year.

Seriously? Are you kidding?

So you see - these are the types of things that the mommie-world culture puts on us. It's not enough that you serve on the PTA and help as a parent reader and volunteer to put the class Science Fair project together and volunteer to decorate the class door for the rest of the you gotta build CASTLE PLAYHOUSES OUT OF EMPTY CEREAL BOXES?!?

And in case you had a few boxes leftover, the website also has instructions for Cereal Box sandals, a Cereal Box tote bag, and a Cereal Box car carry-all!

I gotta go eat me some Raisin Bran...wish me luck!
(PS: Do NOT send me any empty cereal boxes!)

No comments: