Wednesday, January 7, 2009

"I Love the Cookies"



OK - like 95% of America, I am starting the year dieting. Again. Have you ever seen the kid's movie "Over the Hedge"? Worth watching, even if you don't have kids. What's not to like? Bruce Willis as the raccoon, William Shatner is HILARIOUS as an Opossum, Steve Carrel as Hammie the squirrel. There's naked turtle butt, references to finding your nuts, and a few other jokes that I manage to work into my everyday conversation at least twice a week. But I digress...

There's this part where R.J. (Bruce Willis) is trying to get Hammie (Steve Carrel) to go steal some cookies from a house. He puts one as bait, but it's a crappy cookie that is just supposed to get Hammie to the roof, so he can get to the house and let the other animals in. He stops at the crappy cookie, and R.J. (Bruce Willis) says "No Hammie - forget the cookie!" And Hammie (Steve Carrel) says in a lovely, pathetic, whiny voice: "But I love the cookie."

That just about sums it up for me. "I love the cookie."

Seriously - go rent it or download it. FUNNY.

Also, I am - for the 3rd time - attempting the Westchase TriGals "Iron Distance Challenge." 31 days to run 26.2 miles, swim 2.4 miles, and bike 112 miles. I did it last year, but finished on the very last day. This year, I am aiming to beat that by, oh, at least 1 day. My girl DKR is doing it with me (you go girl!), assuming our poor old battered bodies survive the month.

So yesterday I went out for a bike ride. We have a great recreational trail near my house - The Upper Tampa Bay Trail. It's paved, has water stops and bathrooms, overpasses and/or safe crosswalks across the few busy roads it intersects. Nice for walking, jogging, bike riding, or rollerblading. So I was there yesterday, aiming to do 12 miles. The first 5 were great. It was a gorgeous day here in Tampa, and I felt good. "Woo Hoo! I'm getting back in shape faster than I though! This rocks!" I thought. Then - at mile 5 - I made a critical mistake. I TURNED AROUND. Turns out the first half of my ride was with the wind at my back. The second half was straight into the winds from hell. OW. I only finished 10 miles, because by the time I got back my arms and legs were shaking so badly that I almost couldn't get off the damned bike. Hard lesson to learn.

While on the Trail, though, I saw some interesting things:

* The chick strolling along, reading a book. That's right - a full-on paperback book.
* The chick riding her bike while text messaging on her Blackberry. She's got talent, I'll give her that.
* The sign for some gym advertising "Fitness at the Next Level!" I can't even seem to find the first level, let alone think about the "next" one.
* Then there was the dickhead. All along the trail, there are arrows showing you that you need to stay to the right. (This is America, after all.) These arrows are at your feet, are not subtle, and are located about every 500 yards. Can't miss it, right? Except that dickhead was turning onto my part of the trail, and he was running on HIS LEFT. I was riding on MY RIGHT, and - since I had the right of way - fully expected him to scoot his rude ass over and yield. Guess what? He didn't. He kept right on, I have to swerve to not crash into him, and then he muttered at me like I was in the wrong. I would have said something to him, but that would have required getting off the bike. I still had 3 miles to get back to my car - way too far to crawl.

This was all amusing to me because I can hardly carry out a conversation or a logical thought while I am exercising, let alone read a book or text message. And I guess some people are so damned stupid that they can't even understand ARROWS for Pete's sake!

Did I mention that Nick Nolte plays the homicidal bear in "Over the Hedge?" And Avril Lavigne is in it. Ans a few other people whose voices you will recognize.

Sorry I went back to the movie. Can't help it - I love the cookie. ;)

1 comment:

amy said...

You know what sucks? If I had to make a Top 10 list of things that got me fat, cookies wouldn't even be on it. I love cookies, but I can't even blame them for this.
Hmm ... I sense a blog ....