It's begining to look a lot like Christmas... has exploded in my dining room

My husband has a broken foot. This means nothing to you really, but effects me in some really profound ways. Like driving. I had to drive the entire 11 hours home on Sunday (normally a 7 1/2 hour trip.) And I had to climb up into the attic to get down the Christmas stuff (thank God no one was around to see me haul my fat ass up on top of my truck, then pull the same fat ass up into the attic). This was a real eye-opening experience for me. I had NO IDEA we have so much - as we've dubbed it - "Christmas shit." 10 bins, 2 boxes, 1 tree stand, 1 light up dolphin, a giant bag of wreaths, and an 6-foot artificial tree. AND I went yesterday and bought MORE. Because we have a third tree now (I'll explain that in a minute) and a new pool lanai (a hidden expense of putting in a pool - you must decorate the sucker for the holidays).

Tree #1: live tree, usually ungodly expensive. Preferred tree type: Noble Fir. Noble Firs are notoriously difficult to find in Florida. Preferred tree shape: big and fat - I relate to them better. As a kid, we had pets, so we always had the "fake" tree. It was a great fake tree, but once I was all grown-up, I decided it was real trees from now on.

Tree #2: when we lived in Georgia, our family room was at the back of the house. (It's the same deal in our house now - family room to the back, but dining room up front.) I decided that we needed a tree to be seen from the street. I also wanted what I call a "pretty tree" - something color-coordinated that I could could put special ornaments on. So I bought the 6-foot artificial tree mentioned above. I put this tree in front of the big window in the dining room each year. It has red and gold ornaments and perfect little twinkling white lights and is my closest rendition of a "Southern Living" tree. I love this tree. I won't get rid of it, even though when it's in the dining room you can't pull the chairs out from the table because there's not enough room.

Tree #3: the newest member of the family. We put a pool in this year, and with it a screened lanai. Of course I have to decorate it. So my sister and I were out yard-saling in October, and this one house had an artificial tree - 7 feet I think - in a storage bin for $10. I mean really, how could I pass up that bargain? So I brought it home and put it in the garage (along with the leopard print storage ottoman that I got for $5, but that's another story...) I don't really know what it looks like yet, but I'm hoping to put it together today. We're going to hang white lights around the top of the lanai (Target - $16), and put blue and white lights on the tree (Target - $6). I had to also buy little adhesivey clips to attach the lights with (Target - $9.98), and 2 new extension cords (Target - $10). Once I get it up, I plan to decorate it with the tropical sea life ornaments I bought on Ebay ($22), and homemade seashell ornaments my daughter and I hope to make (clay - $6; seashell mold - $5; paints - $3.) I think I also have some tropical fish ornaments that someone gave me last year. It's going to be fabulous, as long as foot-boy doesn't figure out how much I spent.

In the meantime, though - Christmas has thrown up in my dining room. It's full of bins, boxes, trees, along with Christmas gifts (wrapped and unwrapped), and my scrapbooking stuff it buried under there too. If you don't hear from me in a week, send for help...