I suck at being a Homeroom Mom...

Yes - it's true. Much to the shock and dismay of all of you out there who buy into this whole "I'm supermom" thing...I suck at it. Big time.

It started today with a sore throat and an off-and-on low grade fever. So right off the bat I'm crankier and less-tolerant than usual. Throw in one super-high-maintenance son, and we're off to the races. I went in to help Karlin's class with reading today, even though I feel pretty crappy. (I had not had a fever at that point, so felt that the whole contagiousness risk was minimal.) The kids love seeing me, and I feel as if I might be contributing to the future success of the human race, seeing as the stupid people are rapidly outnumbering the smart people. Anything I can do to change the tide just might be a good thing. So I go in and help with reading. I make it through, but decide that I am unable to haul my increasingly tantrum-prone son to the grocery store. We have no food in the house. I mean no food - no milk, no bread, no cereal - staples of life with kids. Chase and I practically ate Popsicles and butter for lunch. Anyway...there's no working out today either, cause I feel crappy.

Karlin comes home with the normal, weekly newsletter from the teacher. The newsletter makes a note that the class will be "making sun catchers this week." Shit. The teacher sent home 22 sun catcher frames and 6 pieces of tissue paper last week and asked me - as a homeroom mom - to have them put together and back to the class by today. Shit. Now normally, this would not be a hugely catastrophic event. But this isn't the first time it has happened. The week I was in Vegas, Bart forgot to send in apples that the teacher requested. Clearly not my fault, but still... Then there was the $4.00 for the Reading supplement magazines. I forgot that too, until 2 days later. I think there was one other thing too, but my fever is on-again and I can't (HA) can't remember. (wait - I need to compose myself after that one...

In an attempt to fix my problem, I even bought this nifty cool Family Planning calendar. (It sounds like some sort of birth control or ovulation tracker, I know, but it's not...it had cutesy little cartoon characters on it, and comes with cool little stickers that say things like "school event" and "meeting" and "practice".) I also have my standard day planner, which seemed to serve me well as a working professional, but falls short in my mush-headed mommy life.

So, in the midst of frantically stapling tissue paper to construction paper frames, I stop to check my email and receive notification of the School Advisory Council meeting today at 4:30. (I'm on the School Advisory Council at Deer Park Elementary.) Shit. Meeting? What meeting? I missed it. This particular situation has been somewhat vindicated since I started typing this blog. I emailed the Council members asking if an email had been sent out, and letting them know I had no idea that there was a meeting today. Another member emailed us all to, saying "Ditto" to my email. So he email made me think that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't entirely losing my mind. I went to my Day Planner: no notation of a meeting. I checked my email: no notification of a meeting. I checked my notes from the last meeting - ah HA! The meeting was scheduled for Nov. 27th!!! Vengance is mine!!!

Shortly after more-or-less resloving that situation, I checked my messages. My co-Brownie Troop leader wanted to make sure: 1. we were still going skating tomorrow night (shit - skating?) and 2. I was still going to be able to attend the Girl Scout Area Meeting Wednesday night. Shit again. Needless to say, I had forgotten that our troop was joining the rest of West Central Florida Council for roller skating tomorrow night. I had also forgotten (even though this is in my Day Planner) that I was supposed to go to a meeting Wednesday night, so I gave Bart the all-clear for an overnight business trip that day.

In the middle of all of this, I also got an email from my co-homeroom moms, letting me know that I am personally financing approximately 1/3 of the class's Thanksgiving Feast on Friday, including sliced Deli turkey, 20 water bottles, 20 juice boxes, 1 can of whipped cream, 1 box of ginger snaps, 10 1-quart zip lock bags, and possibly ginger. Huh?

Oh - and I am supposed to be having my girls over Thursday night for some fun and liquid therapy. Meaning I'll likely be hungover for the "Feast" on Friday. Not to mention I'll probably have to feed the poor gals Popsicles and butter with their tequila.

I feel like the Pig whose brain is out and asking for a cold one. (see comic below)

So the next time you see me, expect me to be wearing the banner of my new title: "Mrs. Sucky Homeroom Mom 2007".

POST SCRIPT: After I finished writing this blog, I went downstairs to finish stapling the 22 sun catchers. I assumed that the frames were all cut from the same template, so I picked one up and traced my tissue paper squares from it, then cut out the squares. Alas - only a few of the frames were that size...most were larger, meaning my tissue paper squares were too small. I had to scrounge up tissue paper in colors close to the ones the teacher sent, then I had to smooth the tissue paper out, then I had to re-do about half of the sun catchers. Oh. My. God.