Snakes and Pirates and Riding Lessons, Oh My! And then there's the whole job thing...

So I'll bet the whole "naked snake wrangling" thing sounded all sexy, eh? Not so much. Here's a pic of the big killer himself, happily hanging out in our pool skimmer. The naked part only came in because I had just finished jogging, and since it's Africa hot here now, I am prone to pull off my soaking wet running clothes and jump in the pool to cool off. (You may be wondering why I just don't put on a suit. Have you ever tried putting on a bathing suit when you're all sweaty? Almost impossible. And then there was the fact that my head was on fire, or so it felt like...) Anyway, once I saw the snake in the skimmer, I got out, wrapped myself in a towel, and called for Bart. Bart - of course - immediately called for the death of the snake. Not being overly fond of snakes, he automatically goes into "I'll get the shovel" mode. Me - being the ex-animal enthusiast that I once was - decided that no, we were going to IDENTIFY it first. So up I run to the computer, where I proceed to yell questions out of the window like "Is the tail sulfur-colored?" and "Is there distinct banding behind the eyes?" Bart got fed up with this pretty quick, and besides - it's pretty difficult to distinguish a juvenile snake from pictures on the computer. It most likely was a Florida Brown Snake. However, it COULD have been a baby Pygmy Rattlesnake (venomous) or a baby Cottonmouth (venomous).

I should take a moment here to interject that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A POISONOUS LAND SNAKE! They are VENOMOUS - not POISONOUS, due to the fact that the venom is injected in order to take effect. (As opposed to an animal such as a Poison Dart Frog, who excretes it's toxin onto the skin, where you have to touch it or ingest it to be affected.) Pet peeve of mine. You'd be amazed how many so-called "Wildlife Experts" on Animal Planet or the Discover Channel will refer to snakes as "poisonous."

I am not a big fan of killing wildlife. However, when it comes down to the chance that one of kids might be in danger, what can I say - I let Bart get the shovel. So that's how I came to be naked, wrapped in a towel, holding a tiny snake with a pair of BBQ tongs while my husband cut it's head off with a shovel. Before you say "Awwww" with sympathy, I need to point out that this little punk was really nasty. For a snake that small, he was not going to take any crap off of us. He curled up on the handle and tried to strike several times, which did nothing to increase the odds of his staying in this world.


I had a fabulous girls' weekend at the beach last weekend. We went to a place in Treasure Island called John's Pass. There was supposed to be a Pirate Festival that weekend, but I'd have to say the whole "Pirate Festival" part was pretty lame. Gators was a fun and unusual place though. On night #2, we gave up on the John's Pass thing, and took our decked-out selves to St. Pete Beach to attract attention with our Pirate outfits and beads. It was a very rare occurrence for me as I was the perfect amount of drunk, AND I wasn't the sick one the next morning! Here's Nancy, Therese, and I, looking rather mischievous if you ask me.

And then there's the riding lessons. God bless my baby girl - in almost 7 years on this planet, she has loved nothing but horses. Horse books, Pony books, any movies or games with horses in them, horse clothes, pony camps during the summer and on breaks. We counted a few months back, and she has 87 horses in her room. Those include stuffed horses, Breyer horses, My Little Ponies, etc. 87. And with her birthday coming up, what did she ask for? Ponies and Horses. We've tried Gymnastics and soccer. No dice. We did Chorus and now piano. Those were met with moderate enthusiasm. After almost 3 years of Pony Camp (where she learned horse anatomy & grooming, and some beginning riding), Ms. Sue says she has reached her ceiling and needs to move on to proper riding lessons. The good news? There is a great place about 6 miles from the house. It's beautiful, and they can teach her as much as she wants to learn - maybe even to the point of showing and competing. It seems so extravagant to me - riding lessons are for rich kids. That's where the bad news comes in - it's pretty pricey. But if she doesn't do much else, and it's the only thing she's truly expressed an interest in, should we give it a go? I'm tempted to say yes, but I'm not the one who pays the bills.

And that is actually a pretty tidy lead-in to the whole job thing. I don't pay the bills, but I may be helping. Last night, I spent 3 hours filling out my first job application in more than 7 years. I'm not even sure I want the job - it's full time, it's 25-30 minutes from the house, and the pay is so-so. But it's a Park Ranger position, so I'm throwing my hat in the ring. I think I passed my first hurdle by going through that endless application process for the Sate of Florida. UGH! You have to really be interested in a job to go through all of that. I seriously doubt that I'll even get a phone call back - I've been through this at least 3-4 times before, and each time - nada. But I'm hopeful maybe they'll at least want to talk to me. Then maybe I can get them to consider a part-time gig.

Bart says I shouldn't tell people I'm applying for a job. What a weirdo - what's wrong with sharing your entire life with a couple hundred of your closest pals? (Or the whole 8 people who read this thing - ha ha ha!)