Wow have things changed...

My pal Amy went to see "Juno" this past weekend. She liked the movie, but said the following:

"I could probably have done without the scene where Jason Bateman is talking to Juno about his prom, telling her, "this is how we did it in '88" - and then two lines later she calls him "old." Coz that was awesome.

Let's never use the words "'88" and "old" so close together ever again, 'K?"

I have a not-really-related story to add to that. This weekend we were watching "Sixteen Candles." (TV Land was having this great Awesome 80's weekend - Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, etc.) Anyway, there's this part where - and I KNOW you all remember this - the chinese exchange student (Dong) is missing, and grandpa calls up the police to report Dong missing. He sais something along the lines of "Yes - he was wearing a striped shirt, sewater vest, and red shoes. (pause) No he's not retarded!" Well, in today's messed up, over-the-top PC world, TV Land decided to ax the last part of the line - the "No he's not retarded" part.

I am as sensitive to the plight of disabled people as the next person. After working for United way, I know plenty about what they have to go through, and I've witnessed some of the chellenges they face. But COME ON PEOPLE! IT'S A LINE IN A MOVIE! A NOW-CONSIERED-TO-BE-A-CLASSIC MOVIE AT THAT!!! AND IT'S FUNNY!

Where does it stop? "Frankly my dear, I don't give a darn"? "You Bastards! You really hurt Kenny"? Next thing you know, Nathan Lane and Robin Williams won't be gay in "The Birdcage." Luke Skywalker's hand won't be cut off in the movie - he'll only lose his cuff links. "Lord of the Rings" will have to have a disclaimer about how it's OK - the Orcs are really unionized and are getting treated fairly and without discrimination. Doc Holiday won't die of TB - he'll just have a really bad cold in "Tombstone." "Major League" won't have Wesley Snipes as the fast runner, 'cause that would be stereotyping. They'll have to re-cast and put Charlie Sheen in there again. I guess Wesley is just out, because he couldn't be the prison guy either - sterotyping. (Which lord knows you can't cut Wesley Snipes out - he just got tagged in Ocala Florida for several million dollars in tax evasion, for Pete's sake...)

Maybe these are really crappy examples - sorry. I hosted 20 pre-schoolers at a bowling party this weekend, so I'm a little out of it. But my point is, the PC crap has gone waaaaaaayyyy overboard. Who's going to be offended? Who's feelings might be hurt? Did you know that here in Hillsborough County, the non-Christians lobbied the School Board to eliminate any days off for Easter? I'm not particularly religious, but practically my whole family is, and they are NOT HAPPY that we can't see them for easter this year. But hey - we still have Dr. Martin Luther King Junior day off. Oh - and FAIR DAY. Yes - that's right - kids in Hillsborough County get a day off school for the FAIR. And Presidents' Day too. Because it is downright necessary to honor a bunch of dead guys, but heaven forbid we get a day off to honor what the majority of our country considers to be "THE" dead guy.

OK - I'm gettin off the soapbox now. They really need to leave my classics alone, though. I don't actually get to go see new movies anymore...