Although I am doing a great job of filling almost all of my time with PTA stuff, not having kids around still takes some getting used to. Especially not having Chase - he's a real chatterbox, and it's weird not hearing him for more than 6 1/2 hours.
In my errand running today, I was having the following random thoughts:
* How sad is it that when I finally have 6 1/2 hours to myself, all I do is call people on my cell phone because I don't have anyone to talk to?
* Cool! Did you know they still sell "Whatchamacallit" candy bars?
* Lady: when your kids are screaming bloody murder for a half an hour and totally ruining the shopping experience for everyone else, DON'T BUY THEM STICKERS AT THE CHECKOUT!!!
* It's amazing to me how doing something that you are really good at makes you feel better about yourself.
* I did not go anywhere near the Coach store today.
* Sometimes it's really easy to open your mouth and eat your foot, even on Facebook.
* Is there some stupid reason why they can't launch the Space Shuttle at a normal hour?
* I will cheerfully beat the child that is teasing my baby on the bus.
* What's worse: getting a tatoo and then losing weight so it looks all wrinkly, or getting a tatoo and gaining weight so it looks all stretched out?
* Did you ever get the weird feeling that your old car is about to go? It's running fine, but something really subtle in the way it runs tells you that it's tired, and it's just about had enough. 111,000 miles in 8 years is a long way to go.
* I saw a TV show last night where a realtor said "all buyers want double ovens." Total bullshit. I don't want double ovens. I don't even want one oven. What I want is a phone for takeout, and paper plates.
* You ever seen that commercial where the guy finds a door in an alley, and he brings it home a sand it and paints it up real pretty? His lady friend (wife, girlfriend - who knows) walks in and says "what's this?" He says "It's a promise - that one day we'll have our own place." Bart says: "Obviously he's unemployed if he's hanging around alleys and has the time to refurbish a door in a day. Maybe they'd actually have a house if he spent that time getting a job." Then he said to me: "Do you want a door?" And I said "What's behind it - a trip to Mexico?"
* Actual conversation last night...part of Karlin's homework was to answer some questions about herself for her new teacher. One of them was "What do other people like best about you?" This really stumped her, so she came downstairs to discuss it with us. I said "I would think the thing people like most about me is how helpful I am." Karlin said "Daddy, what do you like best about Mommy?" He said "I'm sorry - I can't tell you that. It's a secret." So she turned to me and said "Mommy - what do you like best about Daddy?" Without hesitation I said "Easy - his wallett!" (which cracked him up, by the way...) It should be noted here that I did tell Karlin I was only kidding, and then gave her a legitimate answer to the question. I'm not totally irresponsible, you know.
* Some Florida State fan actually attempted to raz me about Tim Tebow & the Gators losing to Ole Miss by a point last season. Can you believe that crap? Did Florida State even play last season? Aren't they on some sort of suspension? Does the coach even know his own name anymore?
* This weekend is my 11th wedding anniversary. My husband got us a new washing machine, and then posted on Facebook "Happy Anniversary, baby - thanks for 11 years of laundry." Funny guy, eh?
* Soon I'm going to start writing down all the funny-ass stuff Chase says. He makes me laugh out loud at least once a day, but whenever I try to tell someone about what he said, I can never remember.
Later Gators! ;)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Places I've Worked That Are No More
In light of the recent sad news about The ZOO in Gulf Breeze closing, I started to think about all the places that I have worked that don't exist anymore. I can't say I'm entirely to blame, but it does seem strange that so many of these places are gone. The fact that most of them are in development-and-success stunted Northwest Florida might have something to do with it.
* Shoe City - Eastgate Plaza on 9th Ave. in Pensacola. My first job, and I spent all my money on shoes.
* Albertson's - 9th Avenue in Pensacola. I worked at the video counter. I believe it's now a Publix, if it's still open at all.
* The Scuba Shack in downtown Pensacola. I worked there for a week and a half, mainly cutting bait out on charter fishing boats. (I quit, for the record.) I don't know if they went out of business, or if Hurricane Ivan did that for them.
* Henry Animal Clinic on Creighton Road in Pensacola. Ole Doc Henry retired and sold the practice. What an easy job - most of the time I watched TV.
* Some weirdo retail shop in Cordova Mall in Pensacola. I worked there 1 Christmas. It was open for such a short time that I can't even remember what it was called. I bought a sweet Esprit dress with my discount, though....teal polka dots (it was the 80's - cut me some slack.)
* Phar-Mor. You guys remember Phar More that used to be out on Davis Highway in Pensacola? I worked at the video counter there and occasionally at the registers while in Grad School. It's gone now too.
* The Pensacola Ice Pilots - Pensacola, FL. Fun-ass job, long-hours, and meager pay. I hear a rumor that they're coming back, but I won't believe that until I see it.
* The ZOO and Botanical Gardens, Gulf Breeze, Florida. Best, most fun job I ever had. I got to do so many cool things, and loved working there even though high school kids at McDs were making more money than I was. Still in touch with some of the people I worked with - we all feel the same way about the place.
Subway on 9th Avenue and The United Way are still there (last time I checked.) I cleaned Beach Houses for 1 weekend - my gawd was THAT awful. Since then my "grown-up" jobs have all been out of town. The Gulf Coats Exploreum is still there in Mobile, and Zoo Atlanta is still kicking. I was an elf at Chick Fil A a few years back, and it seems to have survived. The pre-school where I subbed last year is also doing well.
As for The ZOO...I seriously don't think I'll ever have as much fun as I did chasing down escaped hippos, flying birds of prey, and carrying lemurs around school classrooms. If I had that job today, I would be a rock star with my kids.
Adios ZOO - thanks for the fun times. And remember to please keep your hands and arms inside the train at all times.
* Shoe City - Eastgate Plaza on 9th Ave. in Pensacola. My first job, and I spent all my money on shoes.
* Albertson's - 9th Avenue in Pensacola. I worked at the video counter. I believe it's now a Publix, if it's still open at all.
* The Scuba Shack in downtown Pensacola. I worked there for a week and a half, mainly cutting bait out on charter fishing boats. (I quit, for the record.) I don't know if they went out of business, or if Hurricane Ivan did that for them.
* Henry Animal Clinic on Creighton Road in Pensacola. Ole Doc Henry retired and sold the practice. What an easy job - most of the time I watched TV.
* Some weirdo retail shop in Cordova Mall in Pensacola. I worked there 1 Christmas. It was open for such a short time that I can't even remember what it was called. I bought a sweet Esprit dress with my discount, though....teal polka dots (it was the 80's - cut me some slack.)
* Phar-Mor. You guys remember Phar More that used to be out on Davis Highway in Pensacola? I worked at the video counter there and occasionally at the registers while in Grad School. It's gone now too.
* The Pensacola Ice Pilots - Pensacola, FL. Fun-ass job, long-hours, and meager pay. I hear a rumor that they're coming back, but I won't believe that until I see it.
* The ZOO and Botanical Gardens, Gulf Breeze, Florida. Best, most fun job I ever had. I got to do so many cool things, and loved working there even though high school kids at McDs were making more money than I was. Still in touch with some of the people I worked with - we all feel the same way about the place.
Subway on 9th Avenue and The United Way are still there (last time I checked.) I cleaned Beach Houses for 1 weekend - my gawd was THAT awful. Since then my "grown-up" jobs have all been out of town. The Gulf Coats Exploreum is still there in Mobile, and Zoo Atlanta is still kicking. I was an elf at Chick Fil A a few years back, and it seems to have survived. The pre-school where I subbed last year is also doing well.
As for The ZOO...I seriously don't think I'll ever have as much fun as I did chasing down escaped hippos, flying birds of prey, and carrying lemurs around school classrooms. If I had that job today, I would be a rock star with my kids.
Adios ZOO - thanks for the fun times. And remember to please keep your hands and arms inside the train at all times.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
It's Hard To Be A Southerner From Florida
Below is an article I wrote with the intention of sending it to "Southern Living." But I chickened out. I still think it's pretty good, though, so I thought I'd stick it up here.
Having spent all but 4 years of my life in Florida, I feel that I am a bonafide, tried-and-true southerner. I was born and raised in Pensacola – home of the Blue Angels, the Bushwacker, and some of the best beaches and fried seafood known to mankind. I lived for a time in Orlando, and after a short stint in Georgia (another southern state, I might point out…), my family has settled in Tampa.
Now, being a native Floridian is a little bit of a rarity these days, and you’d be hard pressed to find a lot of native Pensacolians. (Those of us who are native Pensacolians probably either are related or know each other, or our parents graduated high school together, or our grandmas go to the same Baptist Church.) But being a native Floridian/Pensacolian, I have always felt like a true southerner. I love fried okra. My dad used to grow tomatoes and squash as big as your head in our backyard. I could swim in the Gulf surf before I could walk. I believe that oysters - in any form - are their own food group. I can spot a frozen shrimp from a mile away. I believe canoeing down some backwoods creek may be one of the finest pleasures in life, and I started doing it when I was 5. I was raised to know that you don’t schedule a wedding, a wake, a Baptism, or ANYTHING on the same day as Florida-Florida State or Auburn-Alabama football weekends. I know that the best BBQ comes from scary little shacks on dirt roads, sweet iced tea is a life necessity, and that butter beans should never be eaten out of a can. I know that every southern holiday meal has at least 2 “entrees” (usually ham and turkey), no fewer than 15 side dishes, and at least 8 desserts. I know that sitting out in a park square in 98 degree heat, getting eaten by mosquitoes, and listening to music from the gazebo is just something you do. I say “yes maam” and “yes sir” to this day, regardless of the age of the person I am speaking to. I pull over for funerals (a practice, I might add, that has just about gotten me run over here in Tampa.) I know that beer and Tylenol are always in the shopping cart when a hurricane is coming. I have stood on the top of Stone Mountain, eaten Key Lime Pie by sunset in Mallory Square, and danced down Bourbon Street at Mardi Gras. I know what a Moon Pie is. I was in a sorority in college, and married a fraternity boy – my high school sweetheart, actually. I love the sound of the Mourning Dove, the call of the Sandhill Crane, the mystery sounds of the Mockingbird, and the sound of an Osprey on the hunt. I love “the fair” – the rides, the deep-friend everything, the pig races. I still say “ya’ll” and “fixin”. I am a Southerner.
But the rest of the Southerners don’t really agree with me. See – being from Pensacola, the “rest” of Florida considers us a part of Alabama. Southern? Yes. A Floridian from the South? No. Those os us from Northwest Florida and Pensacola know we’re not a part of Alabama, but we think the rest of Florida isn’t southern, either. Except maybe Ocala and Micanopy, but nothing south of Orlando.
So what part of Florida is southern? Miami has too many New Yorkers. Tampa has too many Latinos. Tallahassee is only the south because the Governor says it is. (The Governor with no Southern accent.) Pensacola is too far west. Jacksonville is too close to Georgia. Naples and West Palm? Forget it – you won’t find any natives around there. Key West? Too many weirdos. Orlando? All tourists.
And that’s just what Floridians think! Don’t even get me started on what Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Louisiana think. And outside of that? It still makes me giggle to see features on Maryland in Southern Living. And Texas? Texas is a land in and of itself…even Texans will tell you that.
So what is a good Southern girl to do? What else can I do…I’ll teach my kids to say “ya’ll”. I’ll learn how to make the best sweet iced tea. I’ll learn to make cornbread from scratch. I’ll teach my kids about Spanish Moss and Ponce de Leon. We’ll root for the Gators and eat BBQ and at least shop for squash and tomatoes. And – bless their baby hearts – we’ll go to the fair. (My daughter won the blue ribbon for being a Champion Pig Picker at the pig races at the Strawberry Festival just last year – honest!)
Having spent all but 4 years of my life in Florida, I feel that I am a bonafide, tried-and-true southerner. I was born and raised in Pensacola – home of the Blue Angels, the Bushwacker, and some of the best beaches and fried seafood known to mankind. I lived for a time in Orlando, and after a short stint in Georgia (another southern state, I might point out…), my family has settled in Tampa.
Now, being a native Floridian is a little bit of a rarity these days, and you’d be hard pressed to find a lot of native Pensacolians. (Those of us who are native Pensacolians probably either are related or know each other, or our parents graduated high school together, or our grandmas go to the same Baptist Church.) But being a native Floridian/Pensacolian, I have always felt like a true southerner. I love fried okra. My dad used to grow tomatoes and squash as big as your head in our backyard. I could swim in the Gulf surf before I could walk. I believe that oysters - in any form - are their own food group. I can spot a frozen shrimp from a mile away. I believe canoeing down some backwoods creek may be one of the finest pleasures in life, and I started doing it when I was 5. I was raised to know that you don’t schedule a wedding, a wake, a Baptism, or ANYTHING on the same day as Florida-Florida State or Auburn-Alabama football weekends. I know that the best BBQ comes from scary little shacks on dirt roads, sweet iced tea is a life necessity, and that butter beans should never be eaten out of a can. I know that every southern holiday meal has at least 2 “entrees” (usually ham and turkey), no fewer than 15 side dishes, and at least 8 desserts. I know that sitting out in a park square in 98 degree heat, getting eaten by mosquitoes, and listening to music from the gazebo is just something you do. I say “yes maam” and “yes sir” to this day, regardless of the age of the person I am speaking to. I pull over for funerals (a practice, I might add, that has just about gotten me run over here in Tampa.) I know that beer and Tylenol are always in the shopping cart when a hurricane is coming. I have stood on the top of Stone Mountain, eaten Key Lime Pie by sunset in Mallory Square, and danced down Bourbon Street at Mardi Gras. I know what a Moon Pie is. I was in a sorority in college, and married a fraternity boy – my high school sweetheart, actually. I love the sound of the Mourning Dove, the call of the Sandhill Crane, the mystery sounds of the Mockingbird, and the sound of an Osprey on the hunt. I love “the fair” – the rides, the deep-friend everything, the pig races. I still say “ya’ll” and “fixin”. I am a Southerner.
But the rest of the Southerners don’t really agree with me. See – being from Pensacola, the “rest” of Florida considers us a part of Alabama. Southern? Yes. A Floridian from the South? No. Those os us from Northwest Florida and Pensacola know we’re not a part of Alabama, but we think the rest of Florida isn’t southern, either. Except maybe Ocala and Micanopy, but nothing south of Orlando.
So what part of Florida is southern? Miami has too many New Yorkers. Tampa has too many Latinos. Tallahassee is only the south because the Governor says it is. (The Governor with no Southern accent.) Pensacola is too far west. Jacksonville is too close to Georgia. Naples and West Palm? Forget it – you won’t find any natives around there. Key West? Too many weirdos. Orlando? All tourists.
And that’s just what Floridians think! Don’t even get me started on what Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Louisiana think. And outside of that? It still makes me giggle to see features on Maryland in Southern Living. And Texas? Texas is a land in and of itself…even Texans will tell you that.
So what is a good Southern girl to do? What else can I do…I’ll teach my kids to say “ya’ll”. I’ll learn how to make the best sweet iced tea. I’ll learn to make cornbread from scratch. I’ll teach my kids about Spanish Moss and Ponce de Leon. We’ll root for the Gators and eat BBQ and at least shop for squash and tomatoes. And – bless their baby hearts – we’ll go to the fair. (My daughter won the blue ribbon for being a Champion Pig Picker at the pig races at the Strawberry Festival just last year – honest!)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Living in Florida
(This is me blogging about nothing of significance just for the sake of blogging.)
Most of you reading this either live in Florida now, or have lived in Florida at some point. In either case, you are going to know exactly what I mean with this blog.
I love living in Florida. The heat doesn't even bother me. The bugs are managebale. Bring on the tropical storms & lightning shows - love em! Beaches, seafood, Disney World, Key West, the Florida Gators - what's not to love? (OK - maybe the obnoxious New York transplants who are so rude, or the Illegal Immigrants sucking up my tax dollars, but other than that...)
One of the only things I don't like is the humidity. I went jogging last week, and when I stopped to catch my breath I couldn't. No - I wasn't having a heart attack. It was more that I felt like I was breathing underwater. Or breahing IN water. The humidity level was - seriously - 90% or something like that. I relate it to what it would probably feel like to breathe in maple syrup. Thick and wet.
Then today, I had the good sense to go jogging about 2 hours earlier. (DUH - 15 degree temerapture difference, if I could only manage to get my fat ass out of bed...) The humidity was better today, a manageable 70% or so. But if you've lived in Florida for any amount of time, you'll know the smell I encountered this morning. The smell of damp. Nightly rainstorms, partnered with high humidity and a high water table, all add up to, well, DAMP. Imagine if you put some mud and grass clippings in a garbage bag and left it in the sun for a week. Open it up, and that's what Tampa smelled like this morning. Not the rich, pungent smell of say - a wetlands, or the musty smell of a hay barn. More like a rotting, wet, decaying smell. It was not pleasant. A breeze might help, but usually there's only a breeze in August when it's blowing some rain around, so that doesn't really help at all.
On a related note...why is it that I like to sit on my lanai and drink beer and watch it rain? It must be in my genetic code or something, 'cause my Dad used to do the same thing. Only he sat on what the "regular folks" would call a "porch." (I actually hate the word lanai - it sounds so prententious.)
Only in Florida do you watch the news and see the Governor riding in an airboat through the Everglades to oversee a "Python Hunt." No - really. Apparently south Florida is being over-run by exotic snakes that some dimwits let loose in the wild. There have been at least 3 big news stories in the past few weeks involving big snakes. I mean, that's just entertainment right there.
If you have ever read any books by Dave Barry, he absolutely nails the "eccentric Florida" that I know and love. Carl Hiassen does a good job too. Florida is such a wacky place - you just gotta love it.
Just don't try to breathe in August.
Most of you reading this either live in Florida now, or have lived in Florida at some point. In either case, you are going to know exactly what I mean with this blog.
I love living in Florida. The heat doesn't even bother me. The bugs are managebale. Bring on the tropical storms & lightning shows - love em! Beaches, seafood, Disney World, Key West, the Florida Gators - what's not to love? (OK - maybe the obnoxious New York transplants who are so rude, or the Illegal Immigrants sucking up my tax dollars, but other than that...)
One of the only things I don't like is the humidity. I went jogging last week, and when I stopped to catch my breath I couldn't. No - I wasn't having a heart attack. It was more that I felt like I was breathing underwater. Or breahing IN water. The humidity level was - seriously - 90% or something like that. I relate it to what it would probably feel like to breathe in maple syrup. Thick and wet.
Then today, I had the good sense to go jogging about 2 hours earlier. (DUH - 15 degree temerapture difference, if I could only manage to get my fat ass out of bed...) The humidity was better today, a manageable 70% or so. But if you've lived in Florida for any amount of time, you'll know the smell I encountered this morning. The smell of damp. Nightly rainstorms, partnered with high humidity and a high water table, all add up to, well, DAMP. Imagine if you put some mud and grass clippings in a garbage bag and left it in the sun for a week. Open it up, and that's what Tampa smelled like this morning. Not the rich, pungent smell of say - a wetlands, or the musty smell of a hay barn. More like a rotting, wet, decaying smell. It was not pleasant. A breeze might help, but usually there's only a breeze in August when it's blowing some rain around, so that doesn't really help at all.
On a related note...why is it that I like to sit on my lanai and drink beer and watch it rain? It must be in my genetic code or something, 'cause my Dad used to do the same thing. Only he sat on what the "regular folks" would call a "porch." (I actually hate the word lanai - it sounds so prententious.)
Only in Florida do you watch the news and see the Governor riding in an airboat through the Everglades to oversee a "Python Hunt." No - really. Apparently south Florida is being over-run by exotic snakes that some dimwits let loose in the wild. There have been at least 3 big news stories in the past few weeks involving big snakes. I mean, that's just entertainment right there.
If you have ever read any books by Dave Barry, he absolutely nails the "eccentric Florida" that I know and love. Carl Hiassen does a good job too. Florida is such a wacky place - you just gotta love it.
Just don't try to breathe in August.
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