I Am a Sucky Mom Compared to Kate

Last night I got the chance to catch up on my recorded episodes of "Jon and Kate Plus 8". (If you aren't familiar with this one, it's a show on TLC about a couple that has 7 year old twin girls, and sextuplets (yes - that's right - SIX kids) that are 3.) Anyway, in any given episode, I can be amazed and awed by how well this woman handles 8 kids under the age of 8. But then I watched the "Valentine's Day" episode.

In this episode, she starts the day by making home-made heart shaped pancakes for all 8 kids. OK - special occasion. I get it. Then, the kids come down, and she has special Valentine's place mats for each of them, special Valentine's goody pouches on each of their chairs, and they all are wearing cute matching Valentine's Day shirts. OK - at this point I'm thinking "gee - all I did was buy my kids some little heart boxes with chocolate in them." Chocolate that I eventually ate, no less...

Then - after the 2 older girls head out to school, Kate makes the little kids homemade edible playdoh. Edible freakin playdoh. COME ON! Then - during the day, she manages to write up little scavenger hunt clues, hide them all over the house, and when the older girls get home from school, they do Valentine's Day Scavenger Hunt. At the end is a giant wrapped box full of more Valentine's Day goodies. AND she bought and wrapped a gift for her husband too. Oh - and got them cute Valentine's Day shirts. Too.

I get Family Fun magazine. I see where you CAN make your own playdoh (some edible, some not.) But why on Earth would anyone do that when you can BUY perfectly good, cheap Playdoh at the store? I saw 5 little tins of the stuff for a dollar at Michael's just today!

I am soooooooooooo suspicious, now. Where did she find the time to make up clues, write them on cutesy pink and red pieces of paper, hide them, AND get a big goody box at the end? OBVIOUSLY the camera crew helps. All this, and her kids were all clean, and her house was in reasonable shape. No way - not possible.

Here's how MY day went today, and it's not even Valentine's Day: Get up. Get kid #1 up. Make coffee. Make Kid #1 oatmeal and milk. Pack kid #1's lunch while she eats. Go upstairs to get kid #1 dressed, teeth brushed, and school stuff ready. Bart takes kid #1 to bus stop. Go into bathroom and wash face, brush teeth, and begin make-up. Try to get kid #2 up. Go back for more coffee. Go back to try to finish make-up and put on clothes. Try again to get kid #2 up. We are supposed to leave for school in 20 minutes. FINALLY get kid #2 up. Bart hustles him to get dressed while I pack dry cheerios, yogurt, and milk for the car ride. Load kid #2 into car with travelling breakfast, and remember I forgot to pack kid #2's lunch. Run back in and throw stuff in a lunch bag. (No homemade pancakes here, don't cha know...) Drive kid #2 to school - arrive 10 minutes late. Leave school, go to Michael's to get fusible webbing (supposed to make Karlin's d%*mned Brownie patches to stay on), and a floral ring to make a diaper wreath for an upcoming baby shower. While there, I realize that - "Hey! Easter is in 4 days, and I don't have anything for their baskets." So I spend 20 minutes cruising for cute crap to put in the baskets. Head home. Change clothes and do 1 hour and 15 minutes of strenuous yard work. (I actually enjoy this.) Then - special treat! - LUNCH AT A RESTAURANT WITH BART! Yipee! I suppose I could have spent this time making homemade somethings, but hell - a girl's gotta eat. Even when I shouldn't. But that's another story. Back to the day. Pick up kid #2 at school. Bring him home, leave him with Bart. Go to pick up kid #1 and her friend from school. Host kid #1's friend for play date. Try (unsuccessfully) to get kid #2 down for nap so he won't disturb husband working from home. Create worksheet for girl scout meeting. Drive kid #1 and her friend to the Girl Scout meeting (a bank tour). Kid #1 behaved HORRIBLY at the tour. Run by Target to pick up supplies for the yard work I didn't complete. Get home and vent to husband. Eat a quick dinner, then have "the talk" with the sassy, disrespectful kid #1. And now we're solidly into homework & bath time.

So when was I supposed to do the scavenger hunt? Or the homemade playdoh? Or the pancakes? And I only have TWO kids. AND my husband was working from home today, so I had some help.

I could have axed the lunch. And the yard work probably could have waited. But the baby shower is a week and a half is at MY house, and the yard needs serious help before real people see it. I am the co-Leader of the Brownie Troop, so I had to go there.

So I suck compared to Kate. Kate who looks pretty skinny after 8 kids, and manages to do all that cool stuff like make homemade edible playdoh. And scavenger hunts.

WANTED: Camera crew. Need not operate actual camera. Must only be able to hold down kids while I make homemade playdoh. Must also be able to write clues on and cut out cute little pieces of paper. And help make pancakes. Experience not necessary.