"Funny, I've always believed the World is what we make of it."

(I wrote this 9 months ago is the Fall of 2019, but feel like it's still relevant now.  Maybe even more so.)

"Funny, I've always believed the World is what we make of it." - Ellie Arroway, Contact

This past year I've had a couple of Crises of Identity/Crises of Society that I've had to grapple with.  I'm not sure what the best solutions are, or even if solutions exists, but I thought writing about them might help...

The first situation this year that really punched me in the gut had to do with something that seems on the surface to be fairly benign: High School Travel Lacrosse.  Travel Lacrosse is an expensive, totally time-consuming activity that eats up 4-6 weeks of precious summer vacation time for any serious aspiring lacrosse player (and his family.) There are a lot of positives: exposure to new coaches and different coaching styles; competition against new and often more challenging club squads; exposure to possible college coaches; learning to adapt to a new system with new plays and new team mates.  Our son has done travel two years in a row now, and I can honestly say it's helped him grow as a player, both skill-wise and maturity-wise.

However...this summer - our first at the true high school level - it became apparent that the world in general doesn't necessarily share the goals that we have for our son. We want him to play well, of course.  But we also want him to play with class and dignity and sportsmanship.  We have been fortunate that so far, his coaches and teammates mostly are cut from that same cloth.

This summer I saw things that made me so angry I could spit fire.  For the purpose of this blog, I'll focus on one. There was a team that - knowing the reputation and play level of our U-16 boys - walked their OLDER boys over to the sidelines and played them.  My nephews play competitive soccer, and I'm told in that sport they have player cards that are reviewed before every game.  These cards have a photo of the player, along with their age and position.  This is to prevent players from doing something called "playing down".  "Playing down" is basically when you pull older kids from a more experienced team and have them play down to a lower level.  Lacrosse does NOT have player cards, and it would appear that no one in summer travel actually checks the player's rosters at all at game time.

Our parents all watched as the game started, and then the opposing team suddenly had 9-10 new players walk up and appear on their bench.  These boys were bigger and most likely older than our boys. They had more maturity in their physical appearance across the board, and they were NOT ON THE SIDELINES AT THE START OF THE GAME.

I was livid.  In my mind, this is just flat-out cheating.  It teaches our young men so many of the WRONG lessons that it makes my head spin.  Lord knows I am not a perfect person, nor is anyone in my family.  But we try in earnest to raise honest, responsible kids that play by the rules and do the best they can to improve their OWN level of play without sabotaging others.

I was quite vocal on the sidelines about my disapproval of this "practice."  I had a dad - several dads, in fact - try to calm me down.  They said things like "everyone does it" and "this is just the way it is" and "our teams have done it in the past too."  Those phrases just made me MORE ANGRY.  Here's why...

Just because "everyone does it" does NOT make it right.  If it's "always been done this way" or "this is just the way it is" doesn't make it right either.  If "we've done it in the past too", then that was WRONG.  Just because it's always been that way, or everyone does it, or that's the way it is, or we've done it before does NOT MEAN IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY.  It takes people to stand up and say "You know what?  This is NOT doing our kids any favors.  This is NOT teaching them to be better players and have good sportsmanship.  This is NOT reinforcing our values as a family or as a team."

Things don't change - and never will - unless someone speaks up. But people are afraid to speak up.  Husbands are embarrassed that you're speaking up. People roll their eyes and shrug and accept that status quo as normal.  Don't feed me lines about how it has always been.  Tell me how you will work with me to make it BETTER.

After summer lacrosse ended, we geared up for sending our daughter off the college.  She decided she wanted to do Sorority Recruitment, and - since her father and I were both Greek in college - we supported that decision.  I'm not sure what I expected, but I can tell you that how the process works at a large Southern SEC school is not acceptable.

Sorority recruitment is supposed to be a mutual matching process.  However, thanks to some unscrupulous activities by some well-established organizations, there is now a "formula" in place that is supposed to make the process more fair.  I can tell you without hesitation that this formula (known as the Release Figures Methodology, or RFM) is NOT working.  Here's why...

RFM causes large numbers of girls to be cut by large numbers of sororities for no other reason than numbers. Parents and potential new members are told it's a "numbers game" and not to take the cuts personally.

This is where the first part of the process fails.  It's not a numbers game, because the people impacted ARE NOT NUMBERS. They are beautiful, smart, talented, accomplished young women.   They are not numbers on a page. Making them into mere numbers is not only insulting, it also - in my experience - goes directly against all the women's Greek organizations have stood for for.  Having hundreds of girls crying and questioning their self-worth is absolutely unacceptable, and it's a clear indicator to me that something is really, fundamentally wrong with the recruitment process.  There's no explanation to the girls about RFM, and no feedback at all from the sororities.  The girls have no choice but to think "I did something wrong" or "why didn't they like me?"  It's a fact that more people drop out of recruitment at this specific university than they report in their statistics.

I mentioned to one of my own sorority sisters that I'd like to plot out my thoughts about recruitment and open some sort of constructive dialog with the organization that oversees it.  She said basically that I should be careful, because I wouldn't want it to "get around campus that K's mom doesn't like how recruitment works,  And it will get around."  I also have expressed my concerns to friends, and - again - I hear the old familiar refrains: "That's just the way it is."  "That's the way it's always been done." "Everyone does it this way."  I even got one "It's tradition in the South."

I would never in a million years want to sabotage my daughter in any way shape or form, but the recruitment process was horrendous on her. It was brutal, and it was that way for LOTS of girls.  I feel very strongly that the process needs to be addressed and overhauled.  It's only a matter of time before someone hurts or even kills herself over the personal rejection she's feeling from the recruitment process.  How am I going to feel if that happens, and I was worried about it and never spoke up?  What if me speaking up now can save someone's life?  (And for those of you rolling your eyes wondering if Sorority Recruitment is even worth all the drama...whether it is or isn't is irrelevant.  The situations exist, and the will continue to exist unless and until someone DOES SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT.)

My children have been profoundly impacted by situations this year that are considered "normal" .  It makes me really angry that so many people are s willing to swallow the status quo. If rocking the boat saves one child's life, or saves one college sports scholarship, then it's worth rocking it.

WHEN DID WE ALL BECOME SO AFRAID TO SPEAK UP???

Once Upon A Time, I Had a Business...

This story isn't a fairytale...this story is real. 

I own a travel business. Since 2012. It's not going well right now, thanks to COVID-19 and the related closures, cancellations, and restrictions. 

Lots of businesses are going under, and lots of those are travel-related. I honestly can't count the number of cruise line and tour company staff members that have been furloughed or laid off altogether. It's awful out there. 

Travel business/businesses going under isn't about "people may travel later" or "people can't travel right now" or "things will get better."

When it's YOUR BUSINESS and it starts to go under, it's mostly about this: you spent 8+ years of your life on this. You learned. You trained. You networked. You invested (time and money.) You built it from literally nothing into something. Something tangible. Something moderately profitable. Something you are proud of. 

To lose ALL OF THAT in the course of 5 months is - to put it plainly - devastating. Not only are you not making money, but the prospect of any sort of recovery is dim at best. What time you DO spend working now is to try to take care of people who are either cancelling or were cancelled, which in most cases you will not be paid for. Not paid for the work you did - not paid for the work you are still doing. 

It feels like building a house from scratch and then watching it burn down. It feels like failure, like losing a battle, like lost and wasted time and effort.

It's not just business - it's personal. It's personal to me, and it's personal to the tens of dozens of amazing, hard-working people I know in the industry.

"We Were On A Break!!!" - Ross Geller

Dear Facebook,
(And by association, the people posting on it...)

I've spent the last few days trying to figure out how to approach this.  I know this won't be easy, but...we need to talk.

We've been together for a long time now, and that's part of why this is so hard. In the beginning, spending time with you was so fun.  Hours filled with funny stories, screenshots of your "digital farm", Ice Bucket Challenge videos, pictures of your kids, silly quizzes, and stories about your vacations. I looked forward to spending time with you, and enjoyed it.

In recent months, though, you have changed.  Gone are the light-weighted funny memes and stories.  It's no longer as much "social" as it is "media."  My time with you is now filled with media/news that can't/won't be confirmed, ugly stories, insults, and cowardly attacks.  I used to look forward to seeing you, but now?  I dread it.  I find myself feeling hurt, angry, and depressed almost every time we are together, and it has to stop.  This relationship has gone toxic, and for my own well-being I need to make a change.

WE NEED TO TAKE A BREAK.  I don't think it's forever, but it's going to be for awhile. If you need to reach me, please use email or text, as I will most likely not see any messages you send me here. I'll still be hanging with my Friends Instagram and TikTok, and I may start updating my blog a little more frequently.

In the meantime, I am hopeful we can be back together soon, and that things will be better for us then.

Coronavirus Jenga

So it's 2:30 am on what is technically Easter Sunday.  As on many nights, I can't sleep.  In a futile effort to take my mind elsewhere, I peruse Facebook which turns out to be a mistake.  Let me explain...

This is Day #26 of Safer-At-Home/Social Distancing for us.  With the exception of a few trips to the store for supplies (80% made by Bart) and one Cannonball Run-type move-out blitz to Athens by Bart and Karlin, none of us have been anywhere.  We have walked the dog, walked, or gone for runs, but none of us have been anywhere.   This is the life in Coronavirus 2020.

Make no mistake - I am very grateful.  My little family unit is here.  We are safe and healthy.  We have food on the table and a roof over our heads.  We have internet and Netflix and a pool.  Our immediate family members are all safe, too...our siblings, our parents, aunts, cousins, nephews.  All  healthy and safe.

Every day I wake up feeling lucky and blessed.  And also GUILTY.  Guilty as hell.  Because I know that there are so many people out there NOT as fortunate as we are.  There are people who DON'T have roofs over their heads and food on the table.  There are people who DON'T have family members to check on them.  There are neighbors who have lost parents in the past few weeks who can't have funeral services.  There are people who have had to say their goodbyes on Facetime.  There are kids who have had to bypass milestone birthday celebrations, and adults who have had to bypass milestone birthdays.  There are High School and College Seniors that are missing those celebrations that mark the incredible accomplishments they have made.  There are student athletes who took the field before Spring Break not ever knowing that that game would be THE LAST ONE THEY WOULD EVER PLAY.  (Is that life-or-death?  Absolutely not. But to an athlete that has spent the past 5, 6, 7...10 years playing their sport, it feels huge.)  There are business owners hurting.  People who can't pay their employees.  Employees who can't pay their rent. Teachers trying desperately to provide adequate educational tools for their students in a totally uncharted environment, often while trying to teach their OWN kids at home too.  Doctors and nurses being called back into service to put their own lives at risk.  People having to wave at their parents through windows at nursing homes.  Honestly, the list goes on and on and on and on and on.

Then on Facebook, there's an article that someone posts.  Something about this being the "Great Pause" and about how we all need to readdress how we live our lives, and what we want for our kids, and how we treat our planet. 

And I just lost my shit.

Because that's just GREAT.  Let's add ONE MORE BRICK to the leaning tower of shitstorm that every single one of us is going through. I wake up most nights with nightmares, worrying about my kids.  My business is in a full stop, with no serious hope for recovery any time soon.  (The business I invested in and and busted my ass building for 9 years.  That business.) 

I DO care about the environment, and I DO care about my kids and my family and my life and the world as a whole and the people in it.  But some days I am literally struggling just to get through, AND I HAVE IT PRETTY GOOD.  The crushing weight of guilt and worry and stress is like quicksand every second of every day. Even if I have the time, I simply don't have the energy or emotional fortitude to do a full evaluation of what "means" the most to me and how I can "change" things for the better. 

It's 2:48 am now, and my 16 year old son is watching TV because...he can't sleep either.  I cut him a lot of slack because he processes the same way I do, and Lord only knows what he's feeling.  The stress and fear and worry and regret are probably staggering to him, so if he wants to watch something mindless on Netflix and eat cheetos until 3 am I'm going to let that slide. 

My days are more up-and-down than Space Mountain.  One day I'm playing disco music and dancing around the kitchen.  The next I am bawling because my potted plant died. It doesn't make sense, but then again NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE. 

And don't even try to turn to "trusted news or political sources", because they just don't exist anymore. I truly believe everyone is in someone's pocket, and we only see what they want us to see.

I guess my point here is that we are not human Jenga games.  You can't keep stacking up pieces (bills due, e-learning, reevaluate your life) and pulling out pieces (no paycheck, sad/stressed kids, worried about parents) without that tower eventually falling.  I would love to have the luxury to be able to take a leisurely step back and totally re-vamp my world.  But Truth?  This "full stop" or "great pause" really isn't that at all.  Each of those designations bring their own issues, stresses, and problems, some of which aren't readily apparent to everyone, and some of which we may not even see the impact of for awhile.

Stress. Guilt. Worry. Fatigue. Sleeplessness. Depression. These are real things that many (most) of us are experiencing every single day.  Most of us can't save the world when we're just trying to get through the day.

Why I Don’t Sit In The Car

So - many of you know that my daughter is in high school marching band, which is pretty cool considering that her parents actually met in high school marching band.

We have almost 170 kids in our high school marching band.  It has genuinely surprised me the the small percentage of parents who actively volunteer on a REGULAR BASIS.  It truly takes a village to raise a marching band.  There are uniforms to be fitted, altered, washed, and stored.  There are trucks that need to be loaded and unloaded.  There’s water that needs to be handed out; props to be assembled and put in place; bus loads of kids to be chaperoned; first aid to be administered. The sheer logistics of moving and assembling a 170 member marching band to a game, parade, or competiton is staggering.

Tonight at a gathering of friends, a very active band parent said “How can people sit in their cars and watch as other parents unload everything?”  Another parent said “It must not be that hard, because most of the parents do it.”  The reality of the situation is that, out of 167 kids - probably 135 households/families - only about 30 volunteer on a regular basis.  Less than 20%.

Now - I get that people have work obligations. Home obligations. Financial obligations. Not everyone has the flexibility to be available as much as others.  However, I don’t think there is ANY EXCUSE for sitting in your car, watching others help unload from the activity that your kid participates in.  You are ALREADY THERE, and it doesn’t cost anything to get out of the car and say “Hey - what can I do to help?”

Part of me is angry at these people for/not helping more.  But another part of me is really sad.  Here’s why...

My kid loves band.  She’s not the most talented or the best leader, but she LOVES being a part of the band.  She loves being a relatively anonymous part of a huge organism - something that functions as a whole, a sum of it’s very different parts.  She LOVES IT.  I put that in CAPS because honestly, my beautiful brilliant, amazing daughter is a logical creature at heart, and she doesn’t really exhibit passion for much.  She loves books. And she loves this marching band.

My daughter is my heart - I love her/more than words can say - but her personality is closer to my husband’s than to mine.  She leans more introvert, whereas I am a very obvious extrovert.  I love her, and she loves me, but we don’t necessarily have a lot in common.  But she LOVES BAND.  And I did too.

I played clarinet in middle school, and then switched to French Horn/Mellophone in high school.  I also loved band.  It was a huge part of my high school (and college) experience, so I relate to how much she loves it.

Back to volunteering.  I volunteer because my kid LOVES BAND.  Do I love cleaning up gross water bottles from under the stands? NO. Do I love riding a hot school bus with 45 teenagers? NO. Do I love hauling props out on to a field in 90 degree heat? NO.

But you know what?  MY KID LOVES BAND.  Teens don’t necessarily relate to adults that well, and in general teens get a bad rap.  But our band kids are way too busy to get in much trouble.  They have to maintain good grades and good behavior to stay in band, and the practice and performance schedule doesn’t leave the much time to get into trouble.  These kids are kind of the anti-typical teen...they work hard, they are polite, and they keep their noses clean.  They are truly a great, hard-working group of kids.

I volunteer because my kid loves the band.  And if my volunteering helps keep one kid out of trouble, then that’s awesome.

What has really surprised me is the number of friends we’ve made through the Band Boosters.  I had no idea that that my kid’s activities would result in our meeting some amazing families, several of which I hope to be friends with for years to come.

So why sit in the car? Get out. Say “Hey - where can I help?” You’ll not only get a unique and special insight into your otherwise cryptic teenager...you may also meet some awesome people.

Volunteering isn’t always what you think it is, and it can be more rewarding than you can imagine.

That’s why I get out of the Car.

Stay Awake for New Year’s: 2018 Day 1

It’s currently 1:31 am on January 1, 2018.  My family is asleep, but I’m on the deck with/my iPad, listening to distant parties, firecrackers, and the whir of the hotel AC unit.

The point of this late-night (early/morning???) champagne, wine, and insomnia rant: I think we should all stay awake for New Year’s Eve.  Hee’s why...

New Year’s Eve is a milestone holiday.  A time to end a year and start a year.  A time to bury old regrets and start new beginnings.  When you’re in your 20’s, New Year’s Eve is a BIG DEAL.  Mine involved huge parties, tons of alcohol,frigid pool plunges, a fight or two, and at least one person vomiting.  In your 30’s, you have kids.  You try to hang on to what New Year’s Eve USED to be.  You/may catch up with other people with little kids, and you drink a little but then collapse at 12:15 am in the deep, desperate slumber of people that have been chronically sleep deprived for years.  In your 40’s, your kids are older.  You gather up with your other friends with older kids.  Your kids are all more than happy to run around with sparklers until the wee hours.  You drink wine and booze that is considerably more expensive that what you drank 20 years earlier, and try to keep each other awake until midnight.

It’s a stark, stark reality when - at 12:30 pm - you realize that you drank less than half/of the champagne you popped at midnight.

That all being said...I think, no matter how old you are, you should stay awake for New Year’s Eve,  I mean realistically - how many New Year’s Eves do we get? 60, 70, 80 if we’re lucky.  Many people don’t get that many,  People get sick; people get in accidents. The unexpected steals those New Year’s Eves away.  Statistically speaking, almost every single one of us will end 2018 with less people than we started it with.  We’ll lose family members, friends, spouses, children.  Actually, the older you get, the greater the odds that YOU will be the one who doesn’t make I through the year.

So here’s what I want you to do.  Make a resolution that if you are here another year, you will stay awake and bring in the new year.  I dn’t care if you have to sleep all day the day of and the day after.  Do what you need to do to be awake and present at midnight on 12/31/18.  Get together with your family. Your grandkids. Your friends.  Or - if you’re alone - get a really/nice dinner and bottle/of champagne, and bring in the year alone, relaxed and appreciating the the joy of bringing the year in on your own terms.

New Year’s Eve changes as the years go on, but it’s significance doesn’t have to.

I will look forward to seeing your posts on Facebook, Instagram, etc, as you bring in 2019.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  

The Progression of Insomnia

It's 11:25 pm.  Me:  "I have to get up at 5:30.  I should go to bed."

**  Goes to bed **

My brain:

"It's hot in here.  I wonder what the thermostat is set on.  Maybe I should go check.  No - I need to go to sleep."

"My feet are cold.  Should I get socks?"

"Did I close the garage door?  I think I closed the garage door.  Maybe I'll go check.  I'll check the garage door and the thermostat at the same time."

** Gets out of bed, goes downstairs, checks thermostat and garage door, both of which are fine.  Gets back in bed. **

"Damn.  I forgot to get socks.  I should get socks."

** 5 minutes passes **

"My feet are still cold.  I should have gotten socks. I don't feel like getting up again."

**  5 minutes passes.  Gets up and gets socks. **

"Did I take my medicine?  I think I did.  Crap - was the final payment due today?  No - I'm pretty sure it's Monday.  What was that noise?  Where is the dog?  It's probably Chase on his electronics.  I should go see."

** Gets out of bed and checks on son, who is soundly asleep.  Checks on dog, who is also soundly asleep. **

"Now my feet are hot.  Does Karlin have practice tomorrow?  Oh wait - that's Chase.  Who's driving?  Is it my turn to drive?  I haven't driven in awhile.  It's probably my turn.  Crap.  I forgot to go buy Puerto Rico donation supplies.  First aid kits, work gloves, wipes.  I wonder if Amazon Prime can get them here tomorrow? "

** Picks up phone to check Amazon.  Determines supplies can't get there in time. Checks Fantasy Football match-up while phone is out. **

"OK.  I can't sleep.  I should count something.  Breaths? Sheep? Maybe I should try sleeping somewhere else.  It IS really hot in here."

** Goes downstairs and gets in recliner. **

"OK - it's cooler down here.  And I can rock, so that's good."

** Rocks in recliner for 25 minutes.  Doesn't work. **

"Shit.  This isn't working.  I may as well go do something productive."

** Spends 30 minutes cleaning off desk. Goes back to bed. **

"It's now 2:37 am.  I have to get up in less than 3 hours.  This is going to SUCK."

**  Takes 1/2 of a Tylenol PM.  Falls asleep. **

5:35 am:  OMG THIS IS WHAT HELL FEELS LIKE.

Post-Hurricane Update: Out-of-the-Woods-Into-the-Frying-Pan Edition...

Post-Hurricane Update: Out-of-the-Woods-Into-the-Frying-Pan Edition...

So we've spent two days moving furniture back, un-taping window sills, and putting our daughter's loft bed back together. Lots of little debris and some fence boards down too.

But we made it through the woods! We're in the clear! Except...our AC just went out. Yes - that sizzling sound you hear is us baking.

"24 hour emergency service! No extra charge!" Except that the next tech isn't available until tomorrow at Noon. That sizzling sound you hear now is my temper fuming.

We've all been in very close quarters for 5 days, and I'm not gonna lie...THESE CHILDREN NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I don't care if you shove them in the gym to watch movies, as long as they are separated from their siblings. Chase has played so many video games and watched so many movies that he literally lost track of a whole day.

Word is they aren't going back until Monday. That will be TWELVE DAYS HOME IN A ROW. If schools are 't open, the bars and wine shops better be, and fast. When does Busch Gardens open? Can we just drop them all off there? I'll pay extra if they will just open that park.

Continuing my my Irma-induced quest to decipher Jude Law (is he good? Is he evil?), I watched "Road to Perdition" last night. Terribly depressing movie, and did NOT clear up my Jude Law issues.

I finally got to watch NFL football last night. I think something is wrong with me, as I found myself screaming "Don't run the clock Minnesota! How in the he'll am I supposed to get points if you run the clock?!?"#FantasyFootballProblems

I suppose it could be worse. My friends were supposed to go to Bern's tonight for their 25th anniversary, but Bern's isn't back open yet. Our high school band director is stuck in traffic somewhere between here and Georgia. And although the AC is on the fritz, we DO HAVE POWER, so the wine fridge is okay.

Stay cool, ya'll!

Hurricane Update #4 - Wine, More Wine, Zombie Movies, and Fake News Edition:

Hurricane Update #4 - Wine, More Wine, Zombie Movies, and Fake News Edition:

Well. Here we are at Midnight and I have to say...watching "Shaun of the Dead" really puts the whole hurricane thing in perspective. I mean - we have it bad, but do we have it your-mom's-been-bitten-by-Zombies bad?

We had our first real hurricane impact in the form of a leaking French Door. Minor stuff - nothing that duct tape and a few towels can't fix.

Here's something of interest...we've had not one but two people reach out to us about the current conditions. When we say "It's stormy, but manageable" the people - both out of area - say something along the lines of "No - you're getting pummeled. I just saw it on TV.

Rest assured that - as of right now - we are snuggled up in the family room, with power and AC, sipping chilled wine and watching Shawn of the Dead. Yes - the tales of our demise may be greatly exaggerated for the sake of ratings. National television coverage of Hurricane Irma cannot be trusted.

For those of you that have asked...the loft bed window shield is holding up beautifully; we put the rugs away to just make it easier for George the Weimaraner; and we ate all of Aunt Karin's fabulous stew.

We're holding down the fort with chips, twizzlers, and fudge sticks, and a copious amount of wine.

Stay safe ya'll!

Hurricane Update #3: Sarcasm-More Wine-Weimaraner Edition...

Hurricane Update #3: Sarcasm-More Wine-Weimaraner Edition...

I'm pretty sure the dude with the walker in the beginning of "Office Space" moved faster than this storm. We've been sitting around all day waiting. The conditions here in Tampa have been - so far - less than what we get in your average Thunderstorm. We are very relieved but also bored. We're watching "Pitch Perfect."

You know where the "more wine" comes in. You're probably asking where the Weimaraner comes in. That would be George, my Weimaraner-puppy-nephew. George has declared an outright war on my rugs. I guess they say people (and dogs?) handle stress in different ways, but I'm not sure what trauma my rugs have inflicted on poor George. It's worth pointing out that George is an equal-opportunity rug hater. He hates my small kitchen rugs and my 5x7 area rug equally.

So - Hurricane Problems That You Never Thought Of #1...

Garbage cans. In your garage. I'm betting you have NO IDEA how bad your garbage cans smell until you move them inside the garage. Ours smell like a combination of dead fish, stale beer, and dog crap. We may have to sell our cars. Seriously. SO. BAD.

I'm a little bummed that Karlin's loft bed got ousted by the now widely-publicized Ping Pong Table, but hey - life lessons. I guess we need to step up our game next time. (See what I did there? Ha ha ha)

In the meantime, Aunt Karin brought a bunch more junk food, and made us a big crock pot of Beef Stew. We still have 9 bottles of wine, about 8 bags of chips, Goat cheese, salsa, cookies, twizzlers, Swedish fish, ice cream, and Pop Tarts. We're gooooooood...

I need to go hide the rugs....stay safe ya'll!

Hurricane Update #2: Sarcasm-and-Bailey's Edition...

Hurricane Update #2: Sarcasm-and-Bailey's Edition...

After staying up till 2 am watching worsening weather reports, I looked forward to the air-conditioned, oblivious sleep of sleeping late on a Sunday morning. But alas - it was not meant to be. I had 52 text messages before 7:35 am. Lord only knows what it will be like once we lose TV and have nothing else to do.

So we got up and started doing what most people do to prepare for a hurricane...Bart went to the gym, and I'm cleaning house. Because if the house comes crashing down, at least our toilets will be clean. A girl's got to have some standards, even in a storm, and clean toilets are my baseline.

It's raining a little here now, but that's about it. I'm going to dose up another cup of coffee and start bitching that I can't watch my fantasy players because of the 237 channels of Irma coverage.

(And yes - if you just said "Wait...what?" - you read that correctly. Bart is at the gym. Which is apparently open. In a hurricane.)

Stay safe ya'll!

Hurricane Irma Update, Sarcasm-and-Wine Edition

Hurricane update, sarcasm-and-wine edition:

We're pretty much screwed. Cat 4 headed straight for us.  We decided today to semi-board up the biggest upstairs window, but since plywood has been a rarity in Tampa since Tuesday, we boarded it up with parts of our daughter's loft bed. Not. Kidding. My kid's bed is now screwed to the outside of my house.

We broke the grill trying to move it into the garage. We ordered some critical supplies over a week ago, but Amazon & UPS failed us.  (If I find the UPS driver that has my combo solar-charging weather radio/flashlight/cell phone charger I'm going to kick his ass.)

After managing all the preparations we could this morning, we decided to get in the pool. We may be the first sunburned pre-hurricane victims in history.

The kids are great. Karlin's pretty pissed about her loft bed, but really - teenage drama.  Like she can't sleep normally with her mattress on the floor.  I took her to 7-11 for junk food to console her.  Apparently one loft bed is worth 2 bags of Swedish Fish and a Slurpee.  Who knew?

 Chase is SO EXCITED because there's a "hurricane event" in one of his video games.  Dude - I have got your "virtual reality" riiiiggght over here..."

We have plenty of food, water, and ice - so that's good. And wine, because apparently red wine is a great anecdote to panic attacks.

I'll be back tomorrow, probably not nearly as funny until I get the Baileys in my coffee. Until then, BE SAFE YA'LL!

#IrmaSucks #Irmageddon #HurricaneIrma

BAD PEOPLE SUCK

Some people behave badly but are basically good people deep down.  They may lack a filter, or lack awareness of how what they say & do impacts other people. but at the base they are good, honest, decent people.

Some people behave badly because - at their core - they lack character.  They may or may not be aware of how what they say or do affects other people, but in the end they really don't care.  Their biggest concern is themselves and how situations impact them - their egos, their comfort, their position.  They are selfish in almost everything that they do. These people exist in my life every day, from a Major Presidential candidate to volunteers at my kid's schools.  They probably exist in MOST of our lives every day.

There is no excuse - none - for a lack of manners, common courtesy, and respect for others.  Grown adults should know better, and more of us should draw a line in the sand and stop putting up with it.  I read a meme yesterday that said "What you allow is what will continue."  SO TRUE.

Our world lacks so much right now, but just imagine if people started being DECENT?  What if people thought about others before themselves?  What if they volunteered because they care, and not for the glory and recognition that comes with it?

I am getting too old to waste my time on bad people.  I'm not going to put up with it anymore, and neither should you.

#BadPeopleSuck

I'm So Over Grown-Up Bullies

Bullying happens when you're younger, both on a smaller scale (such as teasing) and a larger scale (such as stealing lunch money or beating someone up.)  One thing you pretty much count on, though, is that once you're all grown up that stuff won't happen anymore.  Kids bully because they lack self esteem, lack discipline, lack a solid family environment, or any other number of reasons.  In some cases, kids behave badly because they just haven't learned that the behaviors aren't appropriate. 

As a grown adult, I assume that people are past being influenced by their childhood, and that they have learned which behaviors are appropriate and which are not.  Things like "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"; "always use your manners"; "don't hurt people's feelings"; "respect others, especially your elders"; and "you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" were all a part of my day-to-day upbringing.  As an adult who graduated college, has held jobs, is involved with a variety of community, professional, and social organizations, and who now owns a business, I still use those lessons in my every day life. 

So I am thoroughly and completely shocked at how many adults I deal with that are basically "bullies". They are rude, selfish, disrespectful, and generally damage the mojo of the groups they are associated with.  People tiptoe around them because it's just easier than getting them all fired up.  Sometimes they are in positions that we don't have anyone else to fill, so we dance around them for that reason.  It's a little ridiculous if you think about it.

So - it's not January...it's August, so this is not a New Year's Resolution. A few things have occurred in the past few weeks with a few of these "grown-up bullies" that put me over the edge.  So, from now on I resolve NOT to put up with their crap anymore.  No one is irreplaceable in a position.  And I don't care who you are, nothing gives you the right to talk down to someone, belittle them, insult them, or be rude and disrespectful to them.  I'm sorry if your parents didn't raise you right, but you're an adult now, and you are fully capable of Googling "MANNERS."  

Until someone steps up to these grown up bullies then they have no reason and no motivation to change their behaviors.  I can't control these people, but I CAN control how I respond to them, and how much power I let them have.  I am in the driver's seat, and it's time for the grown-up bullies to get OFF MY BUS. 

Adventures and Observations: My Afternoon Trip to Lowes

In a rather routine trip to my neighborhood home improvement store today, I managed to have two experiences that felt, well, “blog-worthy.”  One highlighted the absolute ridiculousness of corporate America, and the other highlighted the absolute shittiness of the human race.  We’ll start with corporate America…

It all started with patio chairs.  I needed 4 of them to replace the rusted ones around our outside lanai table.  So I went online, found the ones I wanted, and headed up to Lowe’s to pick them up and bring them home.  Upon arriving in the patio and outdoor department, I realized that the chairs in the store were $9 more expensive than the chairs online.  I double-checked the website price – the LOWES website price – and confirmed it:  $49 in the store; $40 online.  I went to the customer service desk and waited in line for 7 minutes just to ask if they will price-match their online price.  The employee says “I don’t think we do that” and pulls employee #2 over.  She says “No – sorry, but we’re not allowed to match our own prices. We’ve never been able to do that.”  You’re probably thinking: “WHAT?”  I know – it makes no sense. 

My next step was to work the online system to my advantage.  I could buy the chairs online at $40 each, and then select in-store pick up.  Brilliant, right?  So I purchase the chairs online.  But guess what?  I’m not allowed to pull the chairs off the floor myself, even though they are paid for and right in front of me.  Instead I have to wait for the order to be printed and pulled by the girl (employee #1) at the Customer Service desk.  Then she has to page an employee, who leaves whatever job it was that he was already doing.  I watch as he goes and gets the chairs, brings them up to the Customer Service desk, and drops them off.  The whole process takes about 20 minutes.  Then, I have to stand in line again for about 7-8 minutes in order to have the same girl (employee #1) ask me what she can help me with (really?), and then she had to check the order off before I can leave. 

This seems astonishingly ridiculous, does it not?  How can you not honor your own advertised price?  Explain why it’s a more efficient use of time to pull 2 employees off their jobs and generally eat up about 35 minutes of otherwise productive employee time doing what should have taken almost no staff involvement and less than 10 minutes. 

This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered this issue.  Lowes seems to have taken a page out of the Barnes and Noble playbook.  I get it that you won’t price match Amazon or Overstock, but your own PRICES on your OWN WEBSITE?  It’s like those companies that mail a bill with a 49 cent stamp in order to collect an outstanding balance of 23 cents.  Sometimes it really seems as if companies (and school systems? And Governments?) get so large and so far removed from reality that they can no longer connect with what’s really happening on the ground.  Reason and common sense no longer exist.

While at Lowes, I decided to kill some of that chair-waiting time buying mulch.  I put my 5 bags on a little cart and headed for the check out.  A little lady was in front of me – she was maybe 80.  She moved a little slow, and had a basket of about 5-6 flowers/plants and 2 spray bottles of fertilizer/pesticide.  As she reached the register, she started taking all her plants out one at a time.  The checkout woman was super sweet and let her know that she didn’t have to take them all out, but the little old lady said “oh – I want to make sure you get them all.”  Then the lady explained that she also needed some salt for her water softener, but that it was too heavy for her to carry.  The check-out woman explained that it was no problem – she could pull her car up to the entrance and someone would help her carry the bag to her car.  But the old lady wasn’t sure what size bag she needed.  The check-out woman pulled out a catalog page and showed her the 3 sizes, and she picked one.  Then the lady had some trouble using the credit card reader.  The first time it didn’t take, and then she had trouble seeing the screen.  (The ones in the garden department are really hard to see in the bright daylight – for anyone.)  This whole time the check-out woman was being extremely helpful and patient and sweet with this lady.  Unfortunately, while this was all going on (it took maybe 6 minutes), a line had begun to form.  As they were finishing the transaction, this horrible loud voice from behind me said “YOU KNOW THERE’S MORE THAN 3 PEOPLE IN LINE HERE!” I turned back and gave her the evil eye.  She was maybe in her mid-to-upper 50’s. 

As I walked to the parking lot, I couldn’t help but think:  that woman is a piece of crap.  Here’s this little lady – very elderly – but you know what?  She’s out doing it.  She’s being independent and living her life.  Bless her heart – it takes her a little longer than most of us – but are we really in so much of a hurry that we can’t spare a couple of minutes for those who are older than we are?  I wanted to say to that awful loud woman “Hey toots – you’re not too far away from those years yourself.  I hope someone yells at you and makes you feel bad the same way you just did to her.”

So the moral of this story is…big box stores are stupid and people are mean.  I really hope Karma comes back for that loud lady and kicks her in the ass. 

The Field Day Theory - Why I Think America Has Gone Mad

You're probably not going to agree with this theory.  You may argue against it, or dismiss me as a moron.  So be it.  I have a theory about why American seems to have gone collectively mad.  I call it my "Field Day Theory."

When I was in Elementary School, one of the events we looked forward to the most was the annual Field Day.  Field Day was a combination of "serious" events (the one mile run, throwing a football with accuracy through a swinging tire, etc.) and some were "fun" events (the three-legged race, the sack race, the crab-walk race.)  We all practiced for the events in the hopes of winning one of the coveted Field Day ribbons - Blue for 1st place, Red for 2nd place, and Yellow for 3rd place.  It was a FUN day full of FUN activities.  Most people didn't win ribbons at all.  In fact, I think one of the highlights of my 4th grade year was my 2nd place ribbon for the Crab Walk race. But we were outside for most of the day, playing and competing on various levels.

Fast forward to today's school environment.  Almost every school I know of still has "Field Day."  The Field Day of today is TOTALLY DIFFERENT.  I've now experienced it at 3 different schools.  For the most part, the "serious" events no longer exist.  All of the events are "fun" events - hula hoop contests; paper-airplane throwing contests; tug-of-war contests.  I want to clarify that there is NOTHING WRONG with any of those activities or with today's version of Field Day, but it's different than it used to be.

What is the major difference?  NO RIBBONS.  Field Day is no longer truly "competitive".  No ribbons are given at all.  Occasionally, medals are given out, but they are participation medals and EVERYONE GETS ONE.

Stay with me here - I have a point...

Field Day to me is a huge, visible example of how our society has changed in the past 30-40 years.  School activities now are designed specifically to not offend anyone, to not make anyone feel inadequate, and to protect each child's delicate self-esteem.  "You're ALL winners!"  "Everyone gets a medal!" "Just being there makes you a winner, even if you sit and play in the dirt the whole time!"

This mindset has permeated into other areas outside school.  Recitals. Club and Rec league sports. Clubs.   Everyone always is a winner.  Everyone always gets into the club.  Kids are always kind and accepting (or they get punished.)

On the surface, this seems OK.  It seems like a great idea until you examine how it impacts how a child thinks and reacts long-term.

Let's take Johnny.  Johnny is a 3rd grader with a younger sister in Kindergarten.  Johnny's parents are comfortable financially, and want Johnny and his sister to have a better life than they did growing up.  The parents are busy, though - they both work, and are involved with organizations in the community.  The firmly believe that their children are perfect, and any misbehavior is typical "kid" behavior. Johnny plays Pee-Wee soccer and sings in the school chorus.  He gets medals for everything he does - trophies even.  He's not the best player, and one time another kid insulted him.  Before he could even respond, the other kid got snatched away and punished (probably with a "time out" or something similar.)  In school Johnny gets bored sometimes, especially since they have to sit still and quiet for 45 - 90 minutes for testing and assessments.  One day Johnny can't sit still and he gets disruptive in class.  The teacher send him to the office so that she can continue the assessments she's in the middle of, and in anger Johnny uses a bad word that he learned watching You Tube videos on his iPad. The Principal calls Johnny's parents.  When Johnny's mom gets to the school, she gets VERY UPSET.  But she's not upset with Johnny...she's mad at the teacher.  CLEARLY this teacher doesn't know what she's doing.  CLEARLY she has it out for Johnny and she should be better able to manager her students.  How DARE she accuse her precious Johnny of misbehaving, and she's SURE he didn't learn that word at home.  It HAD to be at school...and "what kind of school are you running here anyway? I'm in book club with the Superintendent's wife and I'm going to let her know just how things are at this school."  Johnny gets sent back to class with zero repercussions or consequences, empowered by the realization that he's not going to get in trouble if he acts up.  The Principal calls the teacher in after school and chews her out, blaming her for bringing heat onto him and telling her to keep a better handle on her class.  (Which is a whole different blog...)

Over the years this pattern continues.  Johnny gets medals for almost everything.  Johnny never gets in trouble, even if he should.  He's always accepted and always a winner.  He can be in every club and play any sport. Being called names or made fun of or being excluded from a group is now considered "bullying", and it happens next to never.  There's now a "graduation" from every grade, and Johnny even gets medals and certificates for being in school all three years, or for perfect attendance.

Things start to change a little in high school for Johnny.  Not everyone plays every sport.  Johnny has played soccer for years and was always told he was great, but when he tries out for the High School team he's not good enough and doesn't make it.  He's devastated.   When he acts up in class, the school police officer talks to him and his mom can't talk or threaten him out of trouble.  There are several groups of kids that's he's not friends with, and sometimes they are mean to him.  They say mean things to make him feel bad, which makes him angry.  Mom and Dad feel bad for him, so they buy him an expensive car and lots of other "things" to compensate.  They chalk his less-than-stellar grades up to social issues and assume it will clear up as he gets older.

In college, Johnny's world REALLY gets rocked.  He wants to join a Fraternity, but guess what?  He doesn't get in.  He's not a great athlete or a great student, and he's struggling.  It's frustrating and shocking and upsetting that this world isn't really what he always thought it was.  People play pranks on him, and sometimes say mean things.  He gets sadder and angrier.

The fact is that Johnny was so insulated his whole life that he simply doesn't know what to do.  No one ever told him he wasn't good enough.  He was always accepted into clubs and groups.  No one ever was mean to him. He got medals just for showing up to things - he sometimes didn't even have to work at all.  He got things - cars, electronics, etc. - all the time, and didn't really have to do anything to EARN them.  He was never expected to do great things, because he was rewarded by just being average.

Johnny doesn't know who to blame for all this anger, so he turns it outward:  to his parents, to his teachers, to the kids in that fraternity.  Being relatively young and emotional, the lack of acceptance and lack of constant praise and reward gets bigger and bigger in his mind.  His anger gets worse.

Now - I'm not saying this situation would necessarily lead to a shooting.  In fact, most of the mass shootings around the world has nothing to do with this scenario. Not directly anyway.  Imagine if Johnny finds a religious/political organization online.  They LIKE him.  They WANT him.  They tell him he is important and can make a difference in the world.  Can you see how appealing that would be to someone in his shoes?

Or if it didn't go that far, how easy it would be for Johnny to break into his dad's gun cabinet (his Dad hunts) or even to go down to Wal Mart and buy a gun? Then shoot himself, or shoot his parents or shoot a bunch of teachers.

To quote the movie The Incredibles:  "When everyone is special, then no one will be."  Kids that grow up without any competition, without any consequences, and without having to learn how to deal with mean people from an early age grow up lost.  There are tons of articles on how today's college graduates are finding it hard to get jobs because they are so used to people GIVING them things. They honestly have never been told that they have to work for it, or try harder, or that they might fail.  And that some girl may make fun of your tie or your shoes.

In life, not everyone wins.  You don't get into every club.  You don't win medals just for showing up.  Everyone doesn't have to like you, and people sometimes are not nice.  If you screw up, there are consequences for that.  Kids who grow up in our society today don't know any of that.  They don't understand it, and they don't realize it's reality. It's no wonder they freak out.

Lord knows I am by no means a perfect parent, but I am trying my best to teach my kids how to work for things, how to earn them.  We set our expectations high - for their grades and for their behavior.  There are consequences when they misbehave or are disrespectful.  They don't get the newest and most popular electronics.  My son is begging for an iPhone.  He has a small flip phone for emergencies, but "all his friends have iPhones."  We told him he needs to get through 6th grade.  If he makes good grades all year and shows us that he is mature and responsible, we'll discuss getting him an iPhone.  DISCUSS.

When our daughter has problems with her Spanish class, we tell her that SHE needs to go to the teacher and discuss what's going on.  It's HER RESPONSIBILITY to work things out and get the help she needs - we will only intervene if the teacher refuses to help her.  We don't bail her out...her grade is on her shoulders, and only by behaving like a respectful, responsible young adult is she going to get it fixed.

If someone says mean things and calls names on the bus, we give them tools and strategies to handle the situation.  We don't yell at the bus driver, or go up to the office.  We only intervene if we must, because if we're constantly jumping in and "fixing" things for them, how will they ever learn to do it on their own?

It all starts with Field Day.  Make people work for those ribbons.  Only give them out to certain people.  Give the kids incentive to work harder to win one next year.  Don't raise "children" - raise PEOPLE.  People that will grow up to be adults.

The Sweet Smell Of Home

Years ago when I first went away to college, I went to what was then known as Troy State University. Located in Troy, Alabama, about 30 minutes East of Montgomery, Troy State was in a fairly rural area - lots of farms and open land nearby. I didn't have a good experience at Troy for a variety of reasons and circumstances that I won't go into here. The bottom line was that on most Thursday or Friday evenings I would make the 2 1/2 hour drive back home to Pensacola for the weekend. Being in semi-rural Alabama, Troy and the surrounding counties had a specific smell. Not unpleasant, but very earthy - dirt, grass, water, manure, and pine sap. Again - not unpleasant per-se, just not what I was used to growing up in coastal Pensacola, Florida. Pensacola always smells slightly salty, with a hint of the mustiness of wetlands, rivers, and swamps. Sea, salt, and sand predominate, though, and you don't even realize it exists until it's not there. On my drives home, I would take Highway 231 South to Crestview, and then head West on I-10. At the Milton exit I would roll down my windows and wait. In a mere few miles I'd approach the bridge over Escambia Bay. Just before the road bends and the bridge becomes visible it hits you - that salty seawater marsh smell. I always loved that moment when HOME hit me in the face via my nostrils and my rolled-down Pontiac windows. Flash forward 25 years. I find myself on the balcony of a cruise ships after a 7-night trip. We're only a bit away from the west coast of Florida, and my home now: Tampa. I stand out here in the dark, a glass of Cabernet in hand, and I catch myself leaning out, trying to smell Home. Tampa smells a lot like Pensacola actually, which is maybe part of why we ended up there. So I'm not sure exactly what I'm searching for since I'm literally surrounded by salt and sea. 7 days is a long time to be away from Home, which may be why I sit here with binoculars at my side trying to see or smell "Home." The realization that I was trying to catch a whiff of Home sent me back 25 years to a Navy Blue Pontiac on I-10 over the Escambia Bay Bridge. Home may be where the heart is, but sometimes your nose can be what clues you in to Home in the first place.

Let's Talk A Little About GUILT

I don't know if other people struggle with this. It's likely that they do. The single-most defining factor in my life right now is GUILT. I didn't kill anyone, or rob a bank. I wasn't mean to anyone. I didn't lie, or screw anyone over. It's not that kind of guilt. My guilt is bigger and heavier than that. Denser. It's guilt for choosing to purchase a business that I am struggling at. Guilt for over-estimating my own talents, skills, and abilities. Guilt for costing my family so much money. Guilt for not being able to contribute to the family financially AT ALL. Then there's the second layer of that same guilt. Guilt for not spending time with my kids. Guilt for being so stressed and tired ALL OF THE TIME. Guilt for not being present - as a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as a volunteer. I bought this business for a lot of reasons. After being a full-time mom for 8 years, I wanted something for me. I wanted to establish an identity for myself. I wanted to make some money for my family. It made a lot of sense at the time - I LOVE to travel, and I'm good at it when lots of other people come along with us on our trips. I'm detail oriented and conscientious and unfailingly honest. I either overestimated myself, or underestimated those around me. It's difficult not to look around me and try to figure out why so many people that I considered friends and family aren't supporting me. That's a major oversight. I assumed people I already knew would be my base, my kick-start. I assumed that people I knew would give me a chance. Needless to say, that didn't really materialize to the extent I thought it would. I am forced to build it on my own, from the ground up. Except that building is hard. Painfully, excruciatingly difficult. It sucks away your time and your money and your energy. It sucks away your self confidence and self worth. It leaves you mentally and emotionally exhausted. So when you hit that point, what can you do? Walk away? Walk away TO WHAT? Guilt overshadows everything I do every single second of the day. GUILT. FAILURE. STUPID. VAIN. SELFISH. I have dug myself into a hole that affects more than just me. I should be ashamed for not considering the fallout for the people around me...the people that mean the most to me. Guilt.

Can Women Have It "All"?

To begin this post, I will answer that question.

NO. No, we cannot.

The internet lately has been full of articles about the 2012 woman - she works, she parents, she plays, she volunteers. She seems to have it "all." But does she really, and can she? Is it even possible?

Well - yes. And no. She can have a little bit of it "all." But she can't have all of it "all". This is why:

I am a mom. For most of the last eight years, that has been my main job. The Mom job description involves a lot of things - cleaning, laundry, holiday preparation, birthday parties - you name it. Today's Mom is expected to be mega-involved in her child's school. So in addition to the normal Mom duties, she volunteers at school too. Homeroom mom, School Advisory Council, PTA. She helps out with auction baskets and Fun Fridays and banquets.

Now, eventually Mom wants to expand her horizons a bit. So she begins to volunteer outside of the school. Girl Scouts. The Junior League. She chairs committees, and attends trainings and generally tries to help others while gaining some experience.

Experience. Because eventually, as the kids get older, people start to ask "When are you going back to work?" Which is funny, really, because the Mom job is already plenty of work. Full-time work.

But the kids are in school, and people are expecting you to move away from your bon-bon eating, leisurely pedicure-getting lifestyle, and get a "real job."

Mom starts out part-time - as a school aide, and a substitute teacher. But the pay is awful, and it's not really worth taking the time away from the other Mom duties.

So Mom starts working more or less full-time, doing something exciting and interesting. But the rest of the Mom stuff starts to suffer. Less time with the kids. Less time volunteering. Things start to stack up. The dishes and laundry and school projects don't go anywhere - there's just less time to get it all done. So Mom spends her "free time" doing all the Mom stuff she did before. After dinner, late into the evening.

By the time Mom gets to bed, she's wiped out. There's little time for husband. There's little time for friends. Things start to slip.

Mom forgets to make that doctor's appointment she needs to make. Oh crap - was that birthday last week? How long has it been since the oil was changed? The little stuff stacks and stacks and stacks, until the whole things weighs on her shoulders.

The point here is - that the more you do, the thinner you're spread. Things suffer, if not in one area of your life, in another. Choices have to be made, and sacrifices too.

So you can have the family, and the job, and the friends, and the home. But the family gets tired of you being tired all the time. The job sometimes suffers, because you can't give it your undivided attention. You might go months without seeing your friends, and years without a weekend away with your spouse. The house is a mess pretty much all the time, and the to-do list just keeps growing.

It really sucks that we CAN'T really have it all. But is sucks even more that society expects us to anyway.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, it's a TRAVEL AGENT!

Since my life wasn't crazy enough...Bart and I embarked on a journey to find the perfect franchise to buy. I had (have) been looking for a job that didn't interfere with the family too much for about a year. Everything I found either a) had crappy hours; b) was 30+ miles away; c) paid only a smidge above minimum wage; or d) all of the above. In the meantime, Bart was interested in buying a "bidness" that we could own, and maybe get some tax benefits from. After a brief look into a toy store franchise (VERY brief), I stumbled into the travel concept. I already love to travel, and I usually talk people into going with me. So why not do it for a living? Bart and I researched and reviewed and researched and attended webinars and conference calls and more webinars, and eventually decided to take the BIG LEAP into a Travel franchise. As of May 4th, 2012, we are the co-owners of Cruise Planners - American Express, with me at the Primary operator. Now this is exciting and terrifying for a lot of reasons. The main one is we had to put some money into it, with no real hopes of seeing any return for at least 6-12 months. The other is...well - that's mostly it. One big chunk-o-cash rolled out on the craps table, hoping I can make it work. I'm pretty sure I can do it. I have a long road in front of me, and I've already taken one brief dip with the sharks, but I came out of it at least knowing who and where the sharks are. There are 2 things I have learned already: 1) Travel Agents actually CAN get things cheaper. Really. And 2)The amount of travel stuff out there is flat out crazy overwhelming. So we're giving it a go. Wish us luck. Oh - and as a quick update - we decided to spend our daughter to Private School this Fall. If you need me, leave a message - I'll be giving Bart oxygen.