Saturday, October 25, 2008

People I Sort of Wanted to Smack Today

(Title and theme 100% plagiarized from Amy's blog, but it's SUCH a great idea!)

People I sort of wanted to smack today:

My husband, who left to go to a Gator game and took MY CAMERA with him, leaving me to take those once-a-year-they'll-never-be-this-age-again pumpkin patch photos with my old Olympus that is - literally - held together with scotch tape.

My son, who lay screaming and flailing on the carpeted floor of the roller skating rink because he changed his mind and didn't want to do the lesson I had just paid for.

The stupid little girl in roller skates who not only ran Karlin over once, but also ran over my foot with her skates. And never apologized.

The stupid little boy at the Fall Festival who was beating everyone in the pony ride line with his balloon sword. Actually - change that. I really wanted to smack his MOTHER instead, for doing nothing to stop him.

My son, for laying on the sidewalk screaming and flailing because I removed him from the playground for throwing sand.

People I really didn't want to smack at all today:

Amy, who sent me an email that 1) stated exactly what I was thinking, and 2) made me laugh.

The skating instructor, who realized that Chase was having a "thing", and wisely decided to give him - and me - a little room and a little time.

The driver of the train at the Fall Festival, who let my kids ride twice.

My husband, for coming home with wings and cheese fries.

My husband, for putting in the fabulous pool and hot tub that I so enjoyed swimming in with my family for 2 hours tonight.

The people who organized the Jamaican Jam fest 1/2 mile from my house, providing me with glorious free live reggae music all evening. Great acoustics from the pool...

Go Rays. Go Gators. Stupid people suck.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Funny Things

Funny phrase heard this weekend: when my son - who had been happily trick-or-treating at Sea World's Spooktacular this weekend - encountered the trick-or-treat booth sponsored by Chiquita, he looked at what the guy was giving him and said - with much disgust - "Hey - Those are BANANAS!" (the boy knows his candy - he is my son , after all...)

Does anyone know where I can get one of those industrial toilet paper dispensers? You know the kind they put in schools so that the kids can only take 2 sheets at a time? I really need one of those in the kid's bathroom. Bless their hearts for wanting to be so clean, but we are currently plowing through 9 double rolls a week. And they clog the toilet with that paper about 50% of the time.

And why we're looking for those toilet paper dispensers, where can I get one of the Jedi paper towel things? You know the ones - they put them in restaurants, and you wave your hand in front of them like a Jedi and like magic, a paper towel appears. I don't need one for the kids. I just think they're cool, and I like pretending I can use The Force to get my paper towels.

I am living proof that real Coke and powdered doughnut holes really can make you feel better.

I watched a new TV show today called "Real Simple" (after the magazine.) I was thrilled that they featured a woman whose house was in worse disarray than mine.

Here's what I heard on a talk radio show this morning. Some caller had called up and complained about how "all the black people vote together." The talk show host - who is white - and his producer had the following exchange (heavily sarcastic, in case that doesn't translate via text):

Dan York (host): Well you know, the black people all get the black people newsletter. They all read it and all keep up with what's going on. No white people have ever seen it.
Producer: I had a friend who saw the newsletter once.
Dan York: And no one's ever seen him since, right?
Producer: No.
Dan York: Yea- that's what they use Guantanamo for.

I actually laughed coffee onto my steering wheel. Then another caller wanted to know when Colin Powell's "street cred" became real with the black people, since even black people say he's not really black. Some people are really idiots.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

"You Should Live Here"

So - anyone who knows me knows I am addicted to HGTV. I really should have a much nicer house considering all the makeover and design shows I watch. Let's just say putting it into practice is, well, a bit of a challenge. Especially when I could be swimming in the pool or playing Lego Star Wars on the PS3.

This afternoon I saw a new special on HGTV called "You Should Live Here." Basically they used a variety of sources and surveys to determine things like "The Best Place To Raise A Family", "The Best Place For Food", "The Best Place To Live Longer", etc. Then at the end, they listed the viewer's top 3 choices for best places to live.

I want to say that I think this show is total CRAP. First off, every single one of the places they listed had average home prices of over $250,000. I mean seriously...you're young and wanting to start a family. How about moving to Portland where the median home price 45 minutes outside the city is a half mill? Or what about the "City With the Most Beautiful People" - San Diego? I've been to San Diego, and I distinctly recall seeing more homeless people there than anyplace else I've ever been. Guess that great weather attracts less-beautiful people too. Want to live longer? Move to Denver, where all the fresh mountain air, pure water, and outdoor activities make for a longer life. Ummm...did they forget about the, oh, I don't know, 400 INCHES OF FREEZING ASS SNOW THAT FALLS EVERY YEAR?!?

Florida did not even get mentioned. For the waterfront lifestyle, they listed San Diego (which - by the way, the downtown is a bit from the actual ocean, and the water is C-O-L-D), and Honolulu (who the hell can afford to move THERE?)

The Viewer's Top 3? #3 - San Diego. San Diego is nice - beautiful weather, good zoo, etc. But there's the whole homelessness thing, the illegal immigrants running around everywhere, the Earthquakes, and let's not forget the wildfires. The beach is less-than-attractive - all rocky, and the water is cold. Great place to visit, but I would not want to live there.

#2 - Denver. I have only passed through Denver, but I hear that it is over-run with liberal socialists. The skiing is great, but I just couldn't stomach living in the snow and cold 6+ months of the year.

#1 - New York. Now, not to offend all you New Yorkers out there (I know of 3 who definitely read this blog...), but let's just wait a damned minute. The TV show said New York is #1 because "it has it all." I've never been there (except to JFK), and I would definitely like to visit someday. But I would rather have 3 root canals than move to New York City. It does NOT have it all. No decent beaches (not without a fair drive, and I'm not even sure those beaches qualify as decent). COLD weather and snow in the winter, and HOT weather in the summer. And it's too damned big - too many people, too hard to get around.

I may be biased, but why didn't any place in Florida make the list? We live where millions of people each year come to VACATION. Tampa - in my opinion - is the best. It really does have it all. We are less than 20 minutes from the best beaches in America. (Two of the local beaches won the title so many times they had to "retire" them from the list...) The weather here is fabulous. Granted it is hot in the summer, but no hotter than anywhere else in the Southeast. We get 6-8 months every year of what can only be described as gloriousness. Sunny skies, cool breezes, and mild temps. And by mild I mean you-can-still-wear-flip-flops-all-winter mild. Tampa is a medium-sized city, offering most of the amenities of a big city (minus the public transportation - that's one area where Tampa is sorely lacking.) We have Broadway shows here, ballet, symphony, and art. We have a world-class Zoo, and one of the more famous theme parks. We have all the "good" professional sports - The 2004 Stanley Cup winners the Lightning, the 2003 Superbowl Champion Buccaneers, and - if you read the paper at all - it looks like our Rays may, just may, be heading to the World Series. We have loads of parks and recreational trails. Disney - the vacation mecca of all families around the world - is 1 hour away. Almost every single day I wake up, look out at the blue skies and palm trees swaying in the wind and think "well-another beautiful Tampa day." We even seem to be mostly immune from the whole hurricane thing. Tampa has not had a direct hit in 120 years. We have an international airport, making equally easy to fly to Austin or Vegas or Cancun or Dublin. The food here is pretty damned good too - have you ever tasted a real Cuban Sandwich? The downtown is clean and safe, the suburbs have great schools, and you can be swimming with wild manatees in less than an hour. Want to go to the keys? Drivable. Historic St. Augustine? Ditto. I live almost exactly between downtown Tampa and the beaches. I can drive 4 miles away and be in middle of rural horse county. I can drive 4 miles and be looking at a gorgeous expanse of Tampa Bay.

I don't want to live where it's cold. I can hop a Southwest plane and be in Denver in 2 1/2 hours. Ski my little heart out, and then put my flip flops back on in the plane on the way home. I don't want to live in a city of bazillions of people, where the buildings are so tall you almost can't see the sky. I don't want to live near a beach that is only moderately attractive, with water that's too cold to swim in.

I want to live where it's warm and sunny. Where I can take a picture of the beach and send it to you, and you would not be able to tell if it was Clearwater Beach, Nassau, Jamaica, or Tahiti. I want to wear flip flops all year 'round. I want to be able to swim in my pool on Christmas Day. I want to be able to see Mickey Mouse whenever I want. I want to be able to be outside almost every single day. I want to be able to stand in my back yard and see the Space Shuttle taking off. I want to be able to see (and hear) Sandhill cranes and wild Parrots flying over my yard, and Ibis and Spoonbill feeding in my front yard.

I want to live in paradise, and it's here. Tampa. The only thing that could make it better is if I lived on the water at the beach. And if I had a maid. But maybe that will come later...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

When Pumpkins Drink....

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Why I am Voting the Way That I am Voting

You know - it seems lately that all I get is CRAP because I am choosing to vote Republican. This really pisses me off. I mean seriously - a carfull of Obama supporters yelled at me repeatedly and called me ugly name while I was parked at a stoplight, all because I have a McCain Paulin sticker on my car. I had 2 other people make snide comments to me as well about my political choices.

I don't harass ANY of you about how you are voting. If you ask me why (which only 1 person has done), then I will answer the question. But I don't give any of you Obama lovers crap. This is AMERICA - and you have the right to vote however you choose, regardless of how stupid that choice may be.

That being said, a few people reading this may choose to stop reading right now. (Which - in my experience - many Obama supporters tend to do. Many of them are not interested in any sort of constructive dialog - they just want to yell at you about how much you hate the environment, and how you hate "CHANGE".)

So - my friends, total strangers - whoever may end of reading this: I would like to set the record straight about WHY I am voting the way I am voting.

For beginners, I am not a huge fan of either ticket. I didn't even vote for McCain in the Primary. I am technically registered a Republican, but that doesn't really tell you the whole truth about where I stand. (In parentheses in the party traditionally aligned with that position.)

I am pro-environment (Democrat). I may drive an SUV, but I do all that I can to offset that carbon footprint. I recycle diligently. I shop yard sales. I use compact fluorescent bulbs and unplug things. I am pro-choice (Democrat.) I believe it is a women's choice to make about her own body, although I do support parental notification. (If you had a child, you would too.) I am pro-gun control (Democrat.) I am a fan of the Fair Tax Plan (Libertarian.) I am in favor of doing all that we can and/or need to do in the name of National Defense (Republican.) I am against programs that enable people instead of assisting them (Republican.)

I think it's unfair to claim that two people will be "just like the old President" and "more of the same", just because they happen to belong to the same party. If you or I were judged like that, we would be greatly offended. It's like saying that if you took over a job that another person left, and you both went to the same college, everyone is expecting you to make all the same mistakes that the person before you did. This is completely irrational. Everyone is different, and it's discriminatory to made blanket judgments like that.

I am a VERY informed voter. As a matter of fact, I spent a whole afternoon looking at the voting records for each candidate in the 110th Congress. I do NOT get my information from SNL. I listen to Bill O'Reilly AND Nancy Grace. I watch Fox News and MSN. I am offended when people say Sarah Palin cannot do the job because she's just a "hockey mom" or because she's "from a small town." I think Moms may be better qualified than ANYONE to make huge decisions, and to act in the best interest of a larger group of people. It's what we do everyday. And the small town thing? Once upon a time, our Country was founded with the premise that ANYONE could run for office and help our Country. What difference does it make if she's from a small town or not?

Do I want "more of the same?" Interesting question. In the past 8 years, we have made more money. Our investments have grown (even with the economic crisis). We pay the higher tax bracket, alongside the millionaires, because someone somewhere determined that we are "rich." No one has attacked any of our civilian citizens on American soil since Sept. 11, 2001. Overall, our family is better off now than we were 8 years ago.

Today, I heard a clip from an Obama speech. He actually said that he wants to restructure the American tax system so that it will benefit the "middle class." I HAVE A HUGE FREAKIN PROBLEM WITH THAT. I am more than willing to give charitable donations to organizations who help people in need. However, I am NOT in favor of anyone forcing me to give up any(more) of my family's income so that they can give it to people someone has determined as being "in need" based on how much money they do or do not possess. This leaves SO MANY factors out there not being accounted for. Is the "needy" person in a tight spot? Or did they just make stupid decisions? Maybe they're just lazy. Who knows. The point is, we are not rich (even though we pay tax percentages as if we were...) We are comfortable because we : a)are careful, b) work hard, and c) make good financial choices. In America, it is now considered to be a crime to be a success. If you work hard and do well for yourself and your family, you will be penalized because a certain Presidential candidate and his party thinks it's "not fair." My mom always told me "Life isn't fair." This phrase is usually in response to a child whining about some perceived inequity that exists only to the complainer.

And it doesn't take a Nobel Prize winning economist to figure out what will happen if the larger businesses and successful people in this country are penalized MORE than they already are. If these organizations & people are taxed more, then they cannot afford to hire as many employees. They cannot afford to pay as high wages. They will have to skimp on benefits, including health care in some cases. Many people will say "screw this - I'm moving my money to the Bahamas, where I'll only have to pay 11%." This takes income and currency out of circulation in America. This is all bad for the economy.

Basically it all boils down to this for me. Neither ticket matches my perspective 100%. I match some on the Republican side, and some on the Democrat side. Some on the Libertarian side. Obama and Paulin have less experience than I would like. Biden and McCain are older than I would like. So I tick off the issues here and there, and at the end of it all, there's only 2 things left. TAXES (as detailed above) and NATIONAL DEFENSE. McCain has experience in Military Affairs and National defense, and Obama doesn't. Period.

Go back and think about where you were and what you were doing at around 10:00 am on Sept. 11, 2001. I know where I was. I was on my couch, holding my 3 month old baby, crying and wondering if my husband's plane had been hijacked. Would I be a widow? Was I already? Would my baby girl have to grow up without her daddy? Bart was on the very last plane that departed Hartsfield Airport in Atlanta (big city), heading to New Orleans (big city.) For about 2 hours, I called his cell phone every 5 minutes, and flipped back and forth on the TV channels waiting for more news on the plane hijackings. For the next several weeks - months - I cried every time I saw an interview with a wife who lost her husband - kids who lost their moms or dads. My heart broke for every parent that lost a child. Babies who would never be held by their father. Even today - I am still very emotional about it. I cry during the moments of silence we observe every year.

People have forgotten how they felt back then. We have relaxed, and we have let our guard down. It is a common fact that there is a faction out there - primarily religious, partially political - that wants to see the downfall of America. The great country that my grandfathers and great-grandfathers fought for. THEY WANT TO KILL US ALL. They want to kill MY BABIES. They want to kill MY NEPHEW, and MY FRIENDS. They are still out there, and they are not interested in military personnel. They want to take out innocent people - people going to work, people running errands. We have forgotten that they are still out there, waiting for us to relax.

So it comes down to National Defense - who will protect my children the best - and Taxes - who will allow me to provide for my children the best.
And that's it - the whole of it. You may call me selfish, and so be it. But my children are more important to me than anything else on this earth, and I make my decisions based on what I believe will be the best for them.

I have seen two interesting quotes in the past 2 days that I will close with. The first was "McCain spent more time as a Prisoner of War than Obama has spent in the Senate." The second was "I'd like to keep my money. You can keep the 'change'."